


God's Gift To Men

by rossendalebabe



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Dan Howell and Phil Lester - Fandom, Danisnotonfire - Fandom, Phan, dan and phil
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Feels, Blow Jobs, DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, Daddy Kink, F/M, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Food Sex, Groping, Hand Jobs, M/M, Phan Smut, Phanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-30
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-19 10:09:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 34,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2384510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rossendalebabe/pseuds/rossendalebabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil and his girlfriend seem quite happy until one night, his flatmate Dan has a bad experience and everything changes forever.<br/>This is a chaptered work, mixing smut and fluff in equal measures.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Night In

CHAPTER ONE – A NIGHT IN

“And the winner is….”  
Emma giggled and leaned forward on the sofa in expectation. She adored these evenings, spent at Phil’s apartment, just chilling out with him and his flatmate, Dan.

  
The evenings were predictable enough – they usually started with a meal, which they took turns either buying or cooking for, followed by beers all round and then a film or a stupid game, depending on how much alcohol had been consumed or how tired any of them were.

  
Tonight was special – Dan and Phil had just successfully started up and launched their new gaming channel on YouTube and they’d had a brilliant response. Emma was so proud of her boyfriend Phil and the work that he and Dan had put in.

  
They’d been together for a year now –starting off as friends and gradually spending more and more time together. Emma had almost given up hope of there being any more to it, until one day they’d been sitting together sharing a coffee in Starbucks when Phil had leaned towards her to whisper something silly about how he’d embarrassed himself on the way out of the gents. Her face had brushed against his and their lips had met.

  
Theirs was a relaxed relationship – sometimes they were more like best mates or brother and sister – they were always laughing together and shared the same sense of humour. Phil was kind, thoughtful and gentle and somehow gave the impression of being innocent and naïve at times. Emma often caught herself staring at his intensely blue eyes and feeling as though she could get lost in their gaze. He was tall and slim with black, shiny, silky hair which often fell endearingly over his eyes. Despite his slight build and pale ivory skin, Phil always made her feel secure and protected, even just walking down the road together or catching a tube.

  
“……..DANIEL HOWELL!!!” Dan’s noisy announcement that he was once again the victor of this round of Mariocart Racing brought groans from Phil and Emma.

  
“I’m not having that – you cheated again, you kept pausing the game then starting again when I wasn’t ready” Phil whined, “Anyone want another beer?” He stood up and stretched his long legs, clad in skinny black jeans – he’d been sitting on the floor for too long and got a case of cramp. As he waltzed off into the kitchen, Emma was left with Dan.

  
She felt incredibly lucky to share these two men’s lives, knowing how jealous the Dan and Phil fandom got over her. Although Phil was definitely the man she loved, she also loved Dan for his friendship and the way he and Phil got along so well. Dan adored Emma too – again, not in a romantic way – they just gelled and shared the same sense of humour and sarcasm. He’d do anything for her and there was never any awkwardness between them. He was gorgeous –dark hair, dark eyes, long, long legs and those dimples were to die for. When Emma stayed over at the apartment, she also got to see him wandering around in his T shirt and boxers and often had to suppress a little smug smile when she thought of how many girls would love to see the same sight. But there was nothing between them apart from being great friends and having a very mutual affection for Phil. In fact, they would even go shopping together or for coffees, if Phil was away with his family – Dan was a brilliant listener and he always greeted her with a big warm hug and a kiss on the cheek. She loved winding him up by sneaking up behind him when he was on the sofa and touching his incredibly sensitive neck.

  
Phil switched the games console off and the television came on. One of those scary programmes about having babies came on. To Emma’s surprise, the two guys started getting all gooey-eyed.

  
“I’d really love one of those one day” announced Dan, ”and I’d be a fantastic dad. Aw, look at that little girl’s big blue eyes – what a little cutie” he cooed, his own big brown eyes sparkling.

  
“You big soppy sod!” laughed Emma, then realised that Phil was just as daft looking.

  
“Leave him alone” Phil interrupted, “Us guys can like babies just as much as you girls. If I was a dad, my baby would be spoilt rotten and kissed and fussed over until they were sick of me. I’d love a baby before I got too old.”

  
“Bloomin’ heck, don’t look at me! I’m too young for babies yet – and too busy with work!” Emma exclaimed, lightly punching her boyfriend on the arm and laughing good naturedly. Her research work at the BBC meant that she worked a lot of hours and she was pretty ambitious.

  
“Ooof, hey Dan, she hit me!” Phil groaned, rubbing his sore arm. After another beer, Phil announced that he was feeling ready for bed, so Emma stood up to join him.

  
“’Nightynight Daniel” she smiled and gave him a peck on the cheek. Why didn’t this lovely guy have a girlfriend? He had so many girls throwing themselves at his feet, but he remained single. He always told her that he was too busy to meet girls, but Emma suspected that although he was so confident in his work on Youtube, he was actually not a terribly social person. She would have to try to introduce him to a nice girl one of these days.

  
Phil shut the door of their bedroom behind him and started to get undressed while Emma climbed in between the blue and green sheets. _My god, he is gorgeous_ she thought, as his pale chest was revealed, followed by his long, slim but defined thighs. He grinned that shy, lopsided grin of his before snuggling up against her and pressing his lips against her bare shoulders.

  
Emma shivered a little in anticipation. Phil was a considerate and gentle lover – in fact she would argue that the lead up to sex was often more pleasurable than the act itself. She relished feeling his closeness, the warmth of his breath on her skin and the way he held her afterwards. It’s not that he didn’t satisfy her – he managed that every single time, always making sure they both orgasmed, but he was more cute than passionate. His blue eyes gazed down at her now, questioning whether she wanted him.

  
“Hey Em, I want you too – I’m going to fuck you until you can’t come anymore.” Phil shocked her when he swore – he was such a mild mannered guy, but when he got horny, he seemed to forget his manners, which Emma loved. She felt him press his already very hard cock against her and responded by running her hands over its length – and there was a lot of length if the truth be known. The first time they slept together, she had been both incredibly aroused and also a little worried about whether she’d manage to accommodate him, but because he was so caring and a slow lover who took his time, she hadn’t found it a problem at all. Phil’s hands were between her legs now, stroking her clit lightly. She pushed herself against him and sighed happily and pretty breathlessly.

  
“You feel ready for me already” Phil whispered into her neck and he was right. She arched her back as he pressed his hardness in between her legs and gasped as he slowly pushed inside her wetness.

“Mmmmm..” he murmured as he buried his face in her hair. “God Em, you feel SO ready”.

  
Emma pushed her head back into the pillow beneath her as Phil started to slowly build up speed, all the time stroking her hair and staring at her with those piercing blue eyes. He peppered her with little kisses down her neck and shoulders, moaning softly. Shit, she loved him inside her, loved the closeness and the smell of his skin and hair all around her. As they moved together, faster now, the kisses became more passionate – his tongue was moving sensuously and urgently in her mouth and she pressed her fingers into his back, as he started to pant and buck into her.

“Christ Phil, I’m nearly there”, she screamed as he pumped into her, his mouth hanging open with concentration, his eyes half shut. She couldn’t hold back any longer and orgasmed loudly “Ah Phil, Phil, PHIL, oh god, YESSSSS!”

  
And he was there too, his fringe and hair all a mess, hot and ruffled and out of control for a moment as he came inside her. She felt his full weight on her, as he relaxed his body and collapsed onto her. Suddenly, the gentle, cute Phil was back.

“That was lovely Em, I do love you, you know that yeah? Hope I didn’t hurt you.” Phil always apologised after sex for some reason, as though he felt embarrassed about showing his urges somehow.

“Yeah, of course I know, silly, and I love you ” she whispered, gently running her hands over his smooth, pale shoulders and stroking along his jawline.

“You got a bit carried away too, hope Dan didn’t hear you…” he muttered, looking shy. He didn’t know why he was shy about Dan hearing – perhaps because Dan was single and he felt somehow bad about having Emma over when Dan was spending the night alone.

“I’m sure Dan’s too busy practising beating us on Mariocart again” Emma replied and gently disentangled herself from under her boyfriends body. She lay in front of Phil, curled up ready to spoon with him and he wrapped his arm round her. She could feel his breath, warm and comfortable on the back of her hair and felt safe and loved. Phil wasn’t the most imaginative lover, but he always made her feel happy and satisfied. And she couldn’t have everything- they loved each other to bits, they laughed together and looked after one another. He was great to look at too. She wondered what she would do without him sometimes – her life pretty well revolved round time spent with him and Dan and she often felt as though she had two men in her life – her and Dan were so close too.  
 _We’re more like best friends than lovers sometimes_ , she pondered as she started to drift off, _but with the added advantage of fulfilling sex._ She remembered the first time again – it had been a bit awkward because they’d been friends for so long – a bit like getting undressed by your brother but without the incest. She had never felt the intense fireworks with Phil that she’d heard other people have in bed together, but she didn’t really mind- they loved each other, so it didn’t matter, did it?


	2. Mixed Feelings

CHAPTER TWO: MIXED FEELINGS

Phil could hear Emma’s breathing becoming heavier and regular as she faded into sleep in his arms. He was so grateful to have Emma in his life – she made him feel so special and loved, encouraging him and Dan with their YouTube channel, cooking nice meals for them and being such a lovely girlfriend.

Getting together with her had come as a bit of a surprise to Phil. They’d been good mates for ages – they’d worked together a bit – Emma did a bit of work at the BBC; and they’d got chatting and took it from there. It honestly never crossed his mind that they would be anything more; well not until that day in Starbucks. He was just goofing around as usual and had leaned over to whisper something embarrassing to her that had just happened (actually he’d met a fan as he came out of the gents loo and she’d pointed out quite directly that he’d left his zip undone). As he’d leaned over, she’d turned her face towards him and next minute they’d kissed.  
He had to admit, it felt quite nice. To be perfectly honest, Phil hadn’t kissed too many girls. He just never really found many that he’d wanted to kiss. Sure, he’d had a couple of relationships in high school, but nothing very serious - Emma was the first girl he’d properly spent the night with. He’d had full sex with girls before, but usually because he’d felt that it was the right thing to do at the time – generally because he was a bit drunk and the girl had seduced him or pushed herself onto him. Yeah, the act itself was pretty satisfying and he was generally pestered for a while by the girls in question to do a repeat performance, but it never really did much for him.

With Emma, it was a bit different, but Phil sometimes wondered exactly what he was doing. He loved her company and couldn’t imagine life without her. Waking up to her smile in the morning always gave him a nice start to the day and it meant a lot to him that she had such a great relationship with Dan too. Emma was a very pretty girl, petite and with dark eyes and hair – oh yeah, and a cute little bum too. Even though he hadn’t planned to have a full-on physical relationship with her, she wasn’t difficult to admire. He saw other guys eyeing her up sometimes when they were out and he was proud to be with her.

Something was missing though. When they had sex, he could get turned on and really enjoy how it felt. But it wasn’t like the other ‘relationship’ that he never talked about.

When he was 17, Phil had been out clubbing with his mates when he met a guy called Matt. He and Matt had got to know each other quite well that evening –with Phil ending up sleeping at his flat. He only saw him a couple of times after that, before Phil panicked and didn’t turn up to see him again. They hadn’t gone all the way – it was just messing round really, a bit of grinding and hand relief, but it was like nothing Phil had ever felt before. Just the sight and feel of another man- it was as though Phil had become someone else – someone who had animal instincts and urges, someone who suddenly felt as though he was alive and on fire.

Someone who had quickly felt completely overwhelmed by the whole experience and couldn’t handle it.

  
_Someone who felt like he shouldn’t be doing this, even though it felt so right._

So he’d pushed it to the back of his mind – trying not to think about how good it had felt. He was _straight_ for Christ’s sake. Blokes slept with girls – his parents, his friends, everyone did it. Couples settled down and had a family together. He kept his little secret locked away in a little box in the back of his mind, afraid to even lift the lid and have a peak just in case.

A couple of years later he’d met Dan. His wonderful, sarcastic, funny, best friend, Dan.

They got on so well it was as though they’d always known each other, so it just seemed natural that they should move in together. The funny thing was, they never really got on each other’s nerves much – considering they did everything together –working, living, eating – hell, they were only apart at night time when they disappeared off to their respective bedrooms. Dan had had girlfriends, but only one serious relationship and Phil had really been there for him when it broke up. Since then, he’d been a single man, not seeming to be particularly troubled by this status though.

Phil had been strangely nervous about announcing his new relationship with Emma, but Dan was cool with it – in fact he was so close with Emma that Phil had been a bit jealous at one point.

What worried Phil though, was that he wasn’t clear on _who_ he was jealous _of_.

The following morning, Emma was up and out early. Phil woke when she planted a kiss on his head, which was just poking out from above the duvet.

  
“See you later Phil” she chirped and off she went – she was meeting friends in town for the day and knew that Dan and Phil were more than likely working on the new project, so they’d need a bit of time to themselves.

Phil spent the morning just hanging around really, waiting for his friend to get out of bed as usual. Dan was such a late sleeper, but Phil didn’t mind. It made him smile when Dan finally emerged, with bedhead and bleary eyes, dressed only in his boxers and a T-shirt.

“Morning Daniel, you want a coffee?” Phil chirped, jumping up to go and prepare his flatmate a drink.

  
“Thanks Phil…could do with a caffeine injection” Dan replied, still half asleep.

Phil returned a few minutes later to find Dan already sitting on the sofa, laptop on his knee as usual. He crashed down next to him. The day went by as planned – recording, laughing and hanging out together. Phil cherished these days spent with Dan. He always felt so relaxed and as though he could just be himself….. _but not completely himself._

Throughout the day, they generally sat close together on the sofa or together perched on one of their beds, recording. Phil was so aware of his friend’s presence, the moments when their arms or the side of their thighs would brush together and he couldn’t ignore the butterflies it set off in his stomach. _No Phil, Dan’s your friend_. He would be appalled if he knew. Christ, Phil was appalled in himself. He was with Emma – if she only knew!

  
Besides, their ‘Phandom’ would be hysterical if there was even a hint of reality in the whole ‘phan’ phenomena. Dan and Phil had made a huge joke of it – even reading out one of the more bizarre ‘phanphics’ on a video. Dan must really find it funny, Phil brooded.

That evening, after they finished working, Phil was feeling tired so Dan suggested a take-away.

“Don’t feel like going out Dan” he whined, making himself look as comfortable as possible on the sofa.

“You lazy bastard. OK, I take the hint – I’ll go – you want pizza or Chinese?” Dan said reluctantly.

“Think it’s got to be Chinese –if that’s cool with you” he grinned. Phil watched Dan slide his jacket and his thick furry-eared hat on and sunk further into the sofa, as the door closed behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's just intended to set the scene for the next one - it gives a bit of a taste of things to come. Thanks for reading!


	3. Not Just A Walk In the Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something happens which changes the course of all their lives.

**CHAPTER 3 – NOT JUST A WALK IN THE PARK**

As he closed the front door behind him, Dan felt the cold air of the January evening hit his face. Islington was quiet, but this gave him time to reflect on his day. He liked time alone sometimes. The day with Phil had been brilliant and he didn’t mind going out for the take-away at all really. He was happy to do anything to please his best friend.

The walk helped him to clear his head a bit too. Being with Phil was great, living with him was such a laugh and Phil was so daft and easy-going that it was hard to find anything to fault him.

 _Except for one thing_. Dan was in love with him and he knew that Phil must never know, because if he did, Dan would lose him for sure. He thought for a little while when they first moved in together, that there might have been a tiny chance with him. Phil was so relaxed around him and such a tactile guy – never embarrassed to sit close to him or have any physical contact.

 _Shit_ , Dan thought, _if he only knew how it made me feel when his arm brushes against mine, or I see him coming out of his room in the morning with messy hair and only PJs on_. He felt like his heart was going to beat right out of his chest. Those big blue eyes and that adorable lop-sided smile. He was cute and so hot at the same time.

Dan reflected sadly about how he’d almost misread the signs a year or more ago and that he had nearly worked himself up to tell Phil that he might be bi-sexual or even gay. But then he remembered how Phil had announced one night that he’d started dating Emma and he felt like someone had driven a dagger through his heart.

Of course, he’d never let on – instead he’d spent weeks just feeling like such a broken-hearted fool, who should be happy for his friend and grateful that he’d never let such a big confession out of his closet.

To his surprise, rather than hating Emma, he couldn’t help but like her – she was gorgeous and charming and the two of them rapidly hit it off as friends.

Phil seemed happy too – Emma seemed to be his soul mate and if Phil was happy, then Dan was too. After those initial weeks, Dan realised that in order to continue living here with Phil, he must push his feelings to the back of his mind and try to move on. _Phil is straight – he has a girlfriend he clearly loves and I don’t have a hope in hell_ he thought bitterly. _I don’t want to live my life without him though, so I’m just going to have to accept things and deal with it._

But it wasn’t easy – he thought again about the day they’d had and how hard, but how wonderful it was to share his life with someone he could never have. That programme on the TV last night had shaken him up a bit too – after the others had gone to bed, the realisation that he would probably never have kids had hit him big time. Christ, Phil would probably move out and marry Emma one day and he would have to watch them have kids and be so happy together. He would be overjoyed for them too, but it wouldn’t make it easy for him. He’d be alone. Perhaps one day someone would come along for him which would change his life, but he doubted it. He’d only ever truly loved one person and that person was with his other best mate Emma.

Dan was on his way home again now, with the bags of steaming hot food for him and Phil. He realised how hungry he was as he crossed the park, pulling the flaps snugly around his ears; his breath misting the cold night air. He smiled as he thought of his friend waiting for him in their warm flat and how excited he’d be to see the food he’d brought for them.

Unexpectedly, Dan saw a movement to his right. Two guys in dark coats and jeans stepped out from behind one of the bushes which lined the path and stood directly in front of him, barring his way. His smile faded fast.

“Give us your wallet and your phone, you fuckin’ faggot” one of them growled in his face. Dan felt his legs turn to jelly and he looked over his shoulder to see if there was anyone around. “There’s no-one here Princess – don’t shout, just do as we ask and you can go on your fuckin’ merry little way – we don’t want to have to hurt your pretty little face.”

Dan realised that the other guy had stepped forward too and was holding a knife against his groin – it was starting to cut the fabric of his jeans, so he knew it was sharp and that the guy meant business. His mouth was so dry he could hardly speak and his heart was pounding so hard it hurt. He could smell the man’s sour breath in his face. There was no way he was going to be a hero – he dropped the take-away bags and fished around in his pocket for his wallet, hands and fingers trembling as he handed it over.

“And your fuckin’ phone too, I said!” the first guy spat in his face. Dan was horribly aware that the guy holding the blade had now cut through his jeans and was scraping it on his thigh – it was so sharp and painful, but yet numbing at the same time, sending Dan into a real panic as he tried to locate his phone – his hands no longer feeling as though they were his. Finally, he found it and passed it over.

“Just take it and let me go” he croaked. The attacker grabbed the phoned from his hand and the other guy shoved him roughly backwards into the spiky bush they had emerged from. Dan felt a branch dig into the back of his head and pain in his back and hands as the bush broke his fall. By the time he wrestled himself free and crawled back onto the ground, all he could hear was their footsteps as they ran into the night.

Dan felt horribly detached from himself- he was almost hyperventilating with anxiety and could feel his whole body shaking with fear. He tried to stand up and was suddenly aware of the warm blood which had soaked his thigh and jeans and the pain and wetness on the back of his head.

Somehow, he got to his feet and starting running – he was terrified the men would be waiting for him and he needed to get home somehow, needed to see Phil and needed to forget what those men had called him – ‘ _faggot…., princess,…… pretty_ ’ – The words echoed round and round in his head, taunting him, until he arrived, stumbling and desperate at their flat.


	4. A Friend In Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some serious first aid and TLC is needed.

**CHAPTER FOUR- A FRIEND IN NEED**

Phil checked his watch a fourth time. Where the hell had Dan got to? He was getting really hungry, but more importantly, pretty concerned. The take-away was only 10 minutes away at the most and they were never that busy at this time of night. If he wasn’t back in another five minutes, he decided to give him a call – he felt bad now for not going out himself.

A couple of minutes later, Phil heard the familiar sound of Dan’s keys in the door and he grinned to himself and stood up.

“Thought you’d got lost Dan- I’m fading away here!” he called in a silly, pathetic sounding voice.

No answer. _Now he’s winding me up to get his revenge_ , Phil thought to himself, smiling and deciding to sink deeper into the sofa. He waited another few seconds and was about to come up with some witty anecdote, when he heard a gasping, scrabbling sound coming from the bottom of the stairs by the front door.

“Dan? If you think that’s funny, then _I_ don’t…..going to come down there and get my own sweet and sour!” he yelled, laughing.

Still silence, then the gasping again. Phil felt a weird turning sensation in his stomach, as he realised something was wrong and jumped to his feet.

“Dan!!! ….DAN!” he bellowed, panic setting in and he ran down the stairs. He could just make out a dark figure, sprawled on the floor, panting and half sobbing “Shit, DAN! What the hell’s going on?” Phil ran to his friend and lifted his chin so he could see Dan’s tearstained face, lips trembling. “Tell me what happened” he demanded, flicking on the light in the stairway. Dan could barely get his words out or make his mouth work properly – he was still in shock and shaking all over.

“They had a fucking knife Phil….. There was no-one there to help me…I just had to give them my wallet and phone….I was fucking terrified…Thought they were going to fucking kill me Phil…..Shit….Phil” he stuttered “they were calling me these terrible things and they were so close, I didn’t know what to do Phil….Fuck…..I can’t even remember getting h…”

“Shhh, shhhh now Dan,” Phil murmured – he was kneeling on the floor now, his arms around the shoulders of his friend. “Come on, let’s get you upstairs, somewhere comfortable.” He reached up and locked the door, half afraid that Dan might have been followed, then asked if he was able to walk.

“Y Y Yeah, I think so, oh fuck,..” he winced as he clutched his thigh and realised that his jeans were soaked in blood, a sharp pain ripping through his leg.

“Shit Dan, you’re really bleeding!” Phil cringed, feeling so angry and upset that someone could have done this to his mate. “Put your arm round my shoulder, come on, I’ll support you." Phil put his arm around Dan’s waist and half carried him up the stairs, laying him gently down on the sofa where he’d recently sat, completely oblivious to the danger Dan had been in. He felt awful for sending him out now and completely responsible for what had happened.

“Oh god Dan, we need to have a look at this leg. I’m gonna have to cut through these jeans” Phil was trying to keep his voice steady and brave – Dan was shaking like a leaf - and tried to keep eye contact with him as he talked. Dan nodded, staring with trust at Phil’s blue eyes – the shaking started to calm, but he felt so weak and pathetic.

“They called me stuff, Phil…Faggot and and…pretty and …” he stuttered, bowing his head “I thought they were going to hurt me…I thought…and…and there was no-one there and …” He was worked up and his words were just pouring out.

“Shhhh, Dan, Shhhh” Phil soothed, his own heart pounding with desperation and despair, but most of all just this overwhelming desire to take hold of Dan and never, ever go. He wanted so much to take care of him and make all the horrors disappear. Dan obviously needed the comfort too, as he suddenly clung to Phil, burying his head in his shoulder and sobbing.

“Fuck, I feel so fucking _weak_ , Phil, what kind of a man am I that I would allow this to happen?” he mumbled.

“Dan, you’re not weak –they’re the weak ones – choosing a quiet spot and threatening you with a bloody knife – they just said those things to scare you, so you wouldn’t fight back.” He stroked Dan’s face with such gentleness and concern that Dan’s heart felt as though it would break open, yet he wanted him to go on and never stop. He looked up into Phil’s anxious worried face and fell in love with him all over again. It was so painful, being so close, yet knowing he could never have him.

Phil hugged him again, noticing the blood on the back of his head.

“Your head’s bleeding too, shit, what happened?” he asked, parting Dan’s dark brown hair, now matted with red, to see the extent of the damage.

“Oh, I just banged that as I went down – I don’t think it’s anything much…” he complained, wincing again at Phil’s gentle fingers.

Phil went the drawer and got the scissors to cut Dan’s jeans, then knelt down again on the floor next to the sofa. He put his hand on Dan’s thigh to steady himself and Dan felt an incredible tingling sensation all over with the physical contact from Phil in such an unfamiliar area of his body.

“Right, I’m gonna start cutting through these jeans” Phil said gently. He was at eye level now with Dan’s groin – a fact that had not gone unnoticed by either of them. This situation was rapidly becoming both awkward and pleasant in equal proportions. Talking of proportions, Phil was gradually aware that Dan’s proportions were changing too. As he carefully sliced through the denim around Dan’s thigh, making it looser, the denim around Dan’s groin area was getting very tight, as he became obviously aroused by the close proximity of Phil’s head. Phil chose to try to ignore it, painfully apparent as it was, but it was playing havoc with his concentration and he caught Dan’s cut with the edge of the scissors sharply.

“SHIT!” squealed Dan and sat upright suddenly. At the same moment, Phil jumped, awoken from his momentary transfixion and half jumped up, causing a clash of bodies.

“Ooof, sorry…” Phil muttered, but he and Dan were face to face now, their faces a couple of centimetres away, “Did I, I mean are you getting….?” He just continued to stare into his dark brown eyes. ”I mean, are you OK? Was I getting a bit too close to your personal space?”

“Nnnnno, it’s fine, I mean, I’m sorry, ..Shit, I don’t know,” Dan continued to stare at Phil, looking awkward and adorable. Phil started to tremble. These feelings he had for Dan, they were nothing like he’d felt before – he felt a combination of intense love, protection and, oh yeah, arousal too.Shit, they’d never stood this close like this - so intense…Phil wanted to back off; he was panicking, thinking of Emma briefly, but then not really thinking of anything else but this beautiful man standing so close to him and those dark eyes he wanted to dive into. He couldn’t move – just staring, feeling so worried and overwhelmed. He knew he was on the edge of something, from which he could never climb back to, once he’d jumped off…

But he _did_ jump off the edge and it was so natural and so beautiful – he was kissing Dan’s lips and holding him as close as he could without hurting him, not caring about Dan’s blood-soaked thigh pressing against his, only caring that Dan was responding, kissing him back and holding on to him just as tightly.

Phil’s tongue found Dan’s, their hot, eager mouths entwined and Dan pushed his hands through Phil’s dark hair. Abruptly, Phil stopped and stepped backwards.

“Shit Dan, what are we **doing**?” he whispered, anxiety written all over his face. Dan felt his world tip sideways for the second time that evening, fearing that he blown his friendship and any chance for a deeper relationship for good, but then he remembered Emma too.

“It’s Emma isn’t it? Phil, what about Emma? – you love her, we can’t hurt her like this. Christ Phil, I love her too-I wouldn’t hurt her for the world. We’ve got to stop this before we go any further. This would kill her. You can’t lose her for _me_. Shit, _I_ don’t want to lose her either….”

Phil looked haunted and like a man torn in two. He stepped away and sat on the sofa, his head in his hands.

“Dan, I don’t know what to do…what I feel for you is different than anything I’ve ever had with Em. I love her so much and I think she’s beautiful and sexy and lovely, but what I feel for you Dan –it’s like I just woke up. I don’t want to lose her- I couldn’t live without her in my life, but I think I just realised that we shouldn’t be together as boyfriend and girlfriend any more. I don’t want her out of my life though Dan, I do love her, I really, really do. If she finds out about us though – she’ll never want to see me again. Shit Dan, this is so fucked up…”

Dan sat down gingerly beside him, putting his hand on Phil’s and squeezing it gently.

“I don’t want to lose her either Phil. I’ve been so jealous of her, but she still managed to make me love her –she’s like another best friend. I’d understand if you said you wanted to forget any of this happened. I’d walk out of your life and let you two get on with your lives, get married, have babies together.” Phil looked panic-stricken as Dan said these words.

“No!..., no, I couldn’t have you out of my life Dan! You said Emma was like another best friend, but don’t you see? That’s really the relationship _I’ve_ had with her too – I love her to bits, but there’s no passion, no heart-stopping electric shock when we touch, like I just felt with you. This is so embarrassing, I mean, I don’t even know if you felt it too. You probably think I’m some weirdo who’s lived with you all this time, but I’ve kept these feelings under wraps. And precisely for the reasons we’ve just talked about. Please don’t walk out of my life, not now I know you feel the same.” Phil looked so vulnerable and tired, that Dan’s heart felt like it would break. He wanted Phil so badly, but couldn’t bear the thought of losing Emma.

“I need to think” Phil said, shaking his head, “Let’s get your leg sorted out –you’ve been assaulted and had a bang to your head – we’re both upset and not thinking straight. He went to the bathroom and came back with a bowl of cotton wool and warm water. “I know it’s really not the best thing to ask you in this situation, but I need your trousers off” he smirked sadly.


	5. No Turning Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's all coming out now....

**CHAPTER FIVE: NO TURNING BACK**

Dan gingerly removed his now shredded jeans, revealing an enormous amount of blood. Phil gently and carefully started to wipe it away from Dan’s wound – he flinched in pain.

“Actually Dan, it’s not as bad as it looks, I don’t think you’ll need any stitches- it’s a nasty cut, but not too deep.” Dan watched Phil and how concerned and careful he was being - his mind was in a whirl. Phil had just _kissed_ him and admitted his feelings, but there was a chance he could still lose him. He felt as though their time together was slipping through his fingers.

“Phil, I don’t know what to say – except I can’t help what I feel for you. I I didn’t plan for this to happen, for me to make you unhappy…to screw yours and Emma’s lives up.” He tried to read Phil’s expression, but Phil wasn’t looking at him, evidently trying to find the right words, as he continued to stroke the cotton wool over Dan’s thigh. ”Phil? For fuck’s sake, say something please? I can’t stand this” Dan pleaded.

“How do you think _I_ feel?!” Phil suddenly blurted out “You’ve got nothing to lose here! How the hell am I supposed to tell my girlfriend that I can’t be with her anymore because I’ve secretly harboured feelings for my best mate?! And how the hell do you think I could convince her that I don’t want to lose her from my life, just lose her from my bed?! She’s going to feel so rejected, Dan! I can’t bear to think of upsetting her! And there’ll be no babies for me – I’ve always wanted a family – how will I cope with that?” Phil stopped with the cotton wool and slumped forwards, his head on the sofa.

“You’re wrong Phil –I’ve got _everything_ to lose….I could lose _you._ Oh God, why didn’t we tell each other how we felt all this time?” Dan whispered, watching Phil start to weep. “I’ve loved you for so long I can’t remember, b b but after Emma came, well I…I…I thought you were straight.”

“It’s my fault” Phil replied, tears streaming down his cheeks now “It’s all my fault. I’ve mixed up fondness and love for a very good friend with something else. Shit, I feel so awful –she’ll think I’ve just been using her for sex or something. But it was more than that…it…it was the contact I was craving- not a true passion for her. Sometimes cuddles are more important than the sex. They made me feel loved…I suppose that the sex was just something that I felt ‘obliged’ to do – something that I was expected to do. How fucked up am I? And then today, with you, I I f f felt what I should have been feeling for Emma. So now I know what the ‘fireworks’ feel like when you find ‘the one’, yeah, it’s such a fucking cliché, but it’s true. Christ, I’m talking rubbish…I don’t even know what I’m talking about…”

“Phil….” Dan interrupted desperately.

“What?”

“Kiss me again…please.” Phil hesitated then sat up and took Dan’s anxious face in his hands. He paused to look into his eyes for a moment, then pressed his lips again to Dan’s. There it was again, that feeling of yearning, of absolute love, lust, just completeness, as though he’d finally come home after being lost for years. Dan’s arms reached around his waist and held him close.

“It’s no good Phil, I just couldn’t walk out on you now” Dan sighed, a little giddy and out of breath.

“I couldn’t let you anyway.”

Before they knew it, their hands were pawing at one another’s skin, under their T-shirts, searching, wanting, suddenly desperate, but also just a tiny bit shy. They’d known each other for so long but now they felt a bit like strangers, discovering a new side of each other, exploring each other’s bodies.

Dan pulled Phil’s top off over his head, looking at the familiar pale skin revealed underneath, at the same time seeing the arousal only too noticeable in his tight jeans. He took off his own T-shirt too, barely aware of the pressure as it pulled over his injured head. He was already just in his boxers and he wanted Phil to be the same. He planted little kisses all down Phil’s body as he deftly lowered his new boyfriend’s zip and started to pull his jeans down, kissing each inch of flesh as it was exposed.

“Oh sh..sh..shit Dan” Phil stuttered as he let his head fall backwards, eyes half closed. Then Dan was on his knees, all trauma of the earlier violent assault almost forgotten now. He hitched Phil’s boxers down, revealing the very well-proportioned cock which had been barely contained within. He grinned, slightly shocked and also quite shy.

“Fucking hell Phil, how have you been hiding THIS from me all these years?” he chuckled.

Phil felt suddenly a little embarrassed “Hope you like what you see…” he smiled bashfully.

“Like it? What’s not to like?” Dan replied and kissed the tip, working his fingers along its length slowly. Phil’s legs were starting to shake a bit and he gripped the back of the sofa for support.

“Christ Dan , that feels so good” he moaned, as Dan’s hot mouth opened and he took his length inside it, his tongue working exquisite magic as it continued to dart over and around his excruciatingly hard penis. He looked down and saw Dan staring back up to him, his mouth full, but managing to maintain full eye contact as he moved up and down, his mouth hot and wet. At this sight, Phil started to unravel. He usually managed to last quite a while with Emma, but this image of such a beautiful man, staring up at him with those gorgeous dark unblinking eyes, full of lust, pushed him over the edge. “Shit Dan…oh fuck, I’m so close…” he muttered. Phil never swore, so the sound of him coming so undone and forgetting what he was saying nearly tipped Dan over too. He’d been stroking his own cock the whole time and now he was close too. Christ, Phil looked so _hot_ and it was incredible to be doing this with him.

Phil had closed his eyes and was gripping the sofa so tightly now that his knuckles were white.

“Oh God, Oh Dan, Fuck…” he said through gritted teeth. Dan pulled his mouth off for a moment.

“It’s OK Phil, just let go, I’ll take it, it’s OK” he gasped, out of breath, before taking all of Phil in his mouth again. The sensation of the heat of Dan’s mouth and just how suddenly he’d pulled him in again was too much – he felt everything building up and couldn’t stop himself exploding – it was so intense; he shuddered and had to steady himself, as he moaned out loud. Then Dan was coming too, on his own stomach, while he still had Phil’s throbbing cock in his mouth. He moaned, which felt almost unbearable for Phil, the vibrations on his skin intensifying his orgasm.

Dan released him and gasped, then leaned against Phil’s trembling legs, holding onto him and panting. Phil slowly lowered himself to the ground, putting his arms around his boyfriend and pulling him close. They stayed motionless and panting until their breathing started to return to normal. Phil spoke first.

“How did you learn to do THAT? Shit Dan, I love you so much.”

“You’re just so hot, Phil…and I love you too” he replied simply. Nothing else was said or needed to be said for a while – they were just silent, each thinking about what had just happened and how their lives had changed for ever. Dan pressed his head against Phil’s chest and enjoyed feeling his lover gently stroking his fingers through his hair.

“Let’s have a shower and go to bed, I think we need to sleep” Phil murmured. "We’ll put a dressing on that cut for you and get you into bed – it’s been an eventful evening”

Once, they were both in Phil’s bed, cuts attended to and both cleaned up, Dan cuddled up to Phil and asked tentatively what they were going to do about Emma.

“I’ll have to see her tomorrow, God only knows what I’m going to say” Phil answered nervously. He kissed Dan on the top of his head, unable to believe he was here, in his bed, as his boyfriend. As Dan started to drift into sleep and his breathing became deeper, Phil’s stomach knotted.

Even though he was overwhelmed with happiness right now, he knew that tomorrow would come around far too quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a bit of smut with a large side order of fluff. Thanks so much for your comments - they mean lots to me -Keep them coming...I love to get your feedback on my writing.


	6. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil has to pay Emma an unpleasant visit.

**CHAPTER SIX: CONFESSION**

It was after 8am when the sun started to peep between the blind in Phil’s room. Phil started to wake, not understanding what was different for a moment. He turned his head to see Dan’s head, close by his own on the pillow and his hair, messy and still a bit matted from the attack. His breathing was so calm and Phil reflected how different he had sounded last night. He took the moment to just watch his boyfriend there, the smooth olive skin of his shoulder and back above the sheets.

His _boyfriend_ , Dan.

He couldn’t believe it – he felt elated and terrified, both at the same time. Here was Dan, here in his bed. He tried to savour the opportunity just to watch him sleep. He’d done so secretly on occasion if Dan had drifted off late at night on the sofa, before waking him up to tell him to go to bed, but had felt like so much of a voyeur, a bit of a stalker. Now though, he could look all he wanted – Dan was in his bed. _So ironic,_ he thought and smirked to himself, _after all that, the phandom had been right all along…..if only they knew._

Phil didn’t take long to remember that he had an important and unpleasant task to do today. He had to get to Emma’s, to see her and somehow explain. Where to start? He was certain now that he’d made the right decision – one quick glance at the wonderful man lying next to him was enough to confirm that, but he was so anxious about hurting Emma and losing her. He knew Dan felt the same- the two of them would be miserable without her, but it was almost inevitable and he knew that.

Silently and reluctantly, he crept out of bed, managing not to wake Dan, who just groaned adorably in his sleep and rolled over. Seeing Dan’s face reassured him that he was doing the right thing. He pulled on his clothes and left the flat, heading straight to Emma’s.

“Coming! “ Emma shouted cheerfully when she heard the doorbell. She was surprised to see Phil, especially early, when she knew that he and Dan had worked yesterday. They were usually up so late that they slept half the day. “Hi, you, you’re early” she smiled planting a kiss on his cheek. Her face dropped when she saw his worried, serious expression. “What’s up?” she asked, shutting the door behind him. Her heart started to speed up – he wasn’t smiling and he seemed so, well… _unyielding_ to her affection; so uncomfortable and nervous.

“Can we sit down?” he enquired.

“Um, yeah…d’you want a drink love?” she said, concerned now.

“No thanks Em, actually, we really need to talk.” he ventured nervously.

“What is it Phil? What’s happened? Are you OK? Is it Dan?”

The sound of Dan’s name on Emma’s lips made him feel almost unbearably guilty and Phil looked away. How to tell her? Where could he start?

“Phil, please tell me – are you hurt? What’s wrong sweetheart?” Emma had sat down next to him now and taken hold of his hands. He gripped them tightly, afraid to let go, in case it was the last time. He had to tell her, there was no going back.

“Emma…there’s really no easy way to do this…” he started.

“Oh God, tell me, what is it Phil – whatever it is, we can get through it” she pleaded, nearly crying now. Phil could feel the tears coming too and his throat felt constricted and devoid of all moisture. He had to think of Dan and why he was doing this, but at the same time it was killing him to see this beautiful girl, a girl he adored and loved, falling apart because of him. He wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening, pretend that someone else had upset her and broken her heart so that he could wrap his arms around her and make it all better. He took a deep breath.

“I ..I’ve fallen for someone else Em…” he started, “it was um… unexpected and…”

“WHAT?! When did this happen Phil?” Anger flashed in Emma’s eyes and bewildered tears started to fall. “How long has this been going on?…how long have you known them?” she demanded

“Well actually, quite a while but we never…”

“You’ve been fooling around behind my back! Christ Phil, I thought we really had something good. I never thought you’d have been the type to do this to me, you fucking bastard! I love you Phil, I fucking LOVE you…..” Her words were coming out fast now, as Phil tried to stop her and calm her down. “I wanted to marry you and have babies one day…what a fucking IDIOT I’ve been!” she screamed, standing up.

“Emma please, I need to explain….”Phil stood too, trying to hold onto her hands before she snatched them away from him.

“What’s her fucking name, the bitch? On second thoughts, I don’t want to know, I can’t stand it…oh God Phil, I feel such a fool…how could you?” she sobbed.

“Please Emma, it’s not like that, please calm down so I can explain. It was last night and ….”

Phil felt Emma’s slap, sharp and loud on his cheek, stopping his words in mid flow.

“I DON’T WANT TO KNOW ALL THE SORDID LITTLE DETAILS. GET OUT! JUST GET THE FUCK OUT, PHIL. I DON’T WANT YOU HERE!” she cried. Her face was flushed and hurt, her cheeks wet with tears and her eyes filled with disappointment and betrayal.

Phil was devastated. His heart was breaking in two and all he could do for Emma right now, was to remove himself from her flat. He stared helplessly for a final moment, then walked out of the door, the tears pouring down his own cheeks now. No girlfriend, no wedding and definitely no babies; but he’d made his bed and now he had to lie in it.

As he walked back to his and Dan’s apartment, he reflected on the last 12 hours. Life had changed for good, and he had never felt so alive, but at a great cost. His cheek burned and felt hot. It was probably bright red, but he deserved it – it was nothing to the pain she was feeling right now. He wished it could have gone better with Emma, that she’d listened to the full story. Now she thought he’d been playing around with another woman and probably been doing it behind her back for ages. He didn’t know which was worse – her thinking that he had been with another woman, or the truth – that he was in love with the man who was their mutual best friend. They’d both betrayed her and for that he would always feel terrible regret.

Emma slammed the door shut and threw herself face down on the sofa. Her shoulders rocked with grief as she sobbed into the cushions. She had never felt so shocked and betrayed. Phil…her lovely Phil, gentle, kind, considerate Phil. How could he have done this to her? She thought about whether there’d been any signs of things changing in their relationship, any unexplained absences or weird behaviour, but she couldn’t think of anything at all. Christ, he’d even made love to her just two nights ago! How _dare_ he do that, knowing this was on the cards? She felt defiled and humiliated and needed someone to hug her and just hold her, make her feel loved. She just couldn’t believe it. He was her soul mate.

_Dan_ , she would ring Dan. But what if he was covering for Phil? He’d know about who the other woman in Phil’s life was. Would he tell her though? She suddenly didn’t know who to trust. Dan was her friend though – they loved and respected one another – she was sure he’d be there for her and just knowing that made her feel a bit better.

Emma lay on the sofa for hours it seemed, just trying to process what had happened. She felt as though her whole life had been turned upside down and everything had fallen out of place. After a while, she started to just feel numb. She mechanically pulled herself up and went into the kitchen to make a coffee, then changed her mind and opened a bottle of wine.

Sure, it was only 12pm, but she bloody needed a drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Emma! Still, it needed to be done and better sooner than later.


	7. Scared To Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hold on to your seats...Phil's getting first time nerves. I'm sure Dan can calm him down...or will he just work him up?

**CHAPTER 7 – SCARED TO HURT**

When Phil returned home and wandered into the bedroom, Dan was only just waking up- his sleepy face looked momentarily confused at his surroundings before he remembered the events of the previous evening. When he saw Phil sitting on the edge of the bed, he was suddenly a bit shy.

“Hi sexy,” Phil smiled at the vision before him.

“Mmmmm, hi…”Dan replied, grinning and lowering his eyes.

Phil felt his stomach flip over at the thought of some of things they’d done together and hoped Dan wasn’t having any second thoughts today.

“Did you sleep OK? I mean, I move around a bit – hope I didn’t disturb you?” he asked

“Like a baby. Hey, have you been out somewhere?

“Yeah, just been to Em’s…shit, she was so angry and just devastated, Dan” he muttered, the pain of her slap and the picture of her distraught face still at the very forefront of his thoughts. Dan sat up in bed, wincing a bit at the pain in his thigh still. He loved Emma so very much and needed to know what had happened.

“Oh God, what did she say?”

“What do _you_ think Dan? She didn’t even give me chance to explain that the ‘other person’ is _you_. So now she thinks I’ve been off with some other woman! I told her that I’d known the other person for some time and that was as far as she’d let me get. I need the chance to tell her about us, but she wasn’t listening – she just wanted me to go.”

“Hmmm, I can see that” Dan replied, putting his hand to the hot, red mark on Phil’s cheek “She’s certainly angry..."

“I deserved it, I guess” Phil answered. “Oh God, I feel so terrible. I just wanted to hug her and look after her…I never meant to hurt her this way.“ The tears started again and this time, Dan felt himself filling up, partly because he hated to see the man he loved like this – he’d never, ever seen Phil cry before all of this – and partly because of how painful it was to hear about Emma and know it was their fault. He climbed out from the bedclothes, just wearing his boxers and put his arms protectively around Phil, who leaned into his chest miserably.

“Oh no, poor Em. My mind’s so mixed up, Phil. I love her to pieces and at the same I can’t pretend to regret what we’re doing…but I feel so guilty at the same time.”

“Thank God for that, I was so worried you might have had second thoughts in the cold light of day” Phil murmured into Dan’s chest. He felt so confused – elated to be here with Dan, but so miserable at the same time.

“No Phil, I’d never regret being here with you. You’re gorgeous and funny and sexy and so cute…and we’ve always got along so well, you daft shit….how could you think I’d get cold feet?”

“It was just so…sudden…I mean, all this time…all those opportunities we’ve wasted…”

“I know, believe me, I’ve been desperate for you….Oh God, that just sounds a bit creepy” Dan smiled.

Phil laughed “Hope you haven’t been stalking me when I’m in the shower or wandering around in my underwear Daniel.”

“I can’t promise I didn’t have a sneaky peak now and again…” Dan smiled, shy again.

“Actually, that’s quite hot, you little voyeur” Phil laughed again and tickled Dan’s neck lightly.

“Arghhh, you and I are going to fall out, Lester!” Dan cringed, tensing his shoulders up.

“No, we’re not…you need my body too much…” Phil rolled Dan backwards onto the bed and lay on top of him, pinning him down.

“So, is this how it’s going to be Phil? Are you going to be all dominant with me?” Dan chuckled, not even trying to pretend he wanted it any other way and feeling his own hard cock pressing into Phil’s already very tight jeans.

Phil wasn’t sure what to say – yes, he’d had that night with Matt, all that time ago, but he hadn’t a clue about gay relationships. He suddenly felt as though he was a virgin all over again and Dan obviously sensed his hesitation.

“Hey…I’m sorry love – I didn’t mean…I mean, I don’t want to rush you. I kinda like you on top of me like this though….if you like it this way…”

Dan didn’t want to discuss the few relationships he’d had with other guys – one had broken his heart, when he was only 18 and the others had been mainly one night stands – nothing he was terribly proud of. He did have some experience that he’d picked up along the way though – and he really wanted to share what he’d learnt with his gorgeous boyfriend.

“No, it’s fine, I _do_ like it. I just feel a bit nervous, that’s all, I mean, shit Dan, this is all new to me, but I want to learn with you. “

“Just kiss me then and we’ll take one day at a time huh?” Dan reassured him, but Phil pouted a bit.

“Not sure I want to take it slow…” he sulked.

“Mmmmm, that dominant boyfriend of mine is back again” Dan grinned, his eyes darkening flirtily.

He pulled Phil toward him again, running his hand down between them and started to work on removing Phil’s jeans. They were suddenly hungry for each other all over again, despite their sadness about Emma; and desperate to learn more about each other’s bodies from a new perspective other than friendship.

“I may be dominant, but I need you to show me what to do first” sighed Phil, a little shakily. He knew exactly what they both wanted, but felt hesitant and inexperienced “I’m so scared I’ll hurt you” he added tenderly.

“I’m not fragile baby, but we need to prepare a bit…you need to stretch me first, so you won’t hurt me…” then seeing that Phil looked alarmed, he added, into his ear gently “Hey…don’t worry, it’s fun and it gets me ready for you.” In truth, Dan was a bit nervous himself, considering how big Phil was, but he was so hot for him and so desperate to feel him inside, that he’d already decided to go ahead with this. Besides, he trusted Phil with his life, so he knew he’d be considerate. “If it makes you feel better, I promise to tell you straight away if it’s too much, OK?”

Dan showed Phil how to use his fingers and a little lube to get him ready, which, in itself drove him wild. He could see by the look in Phil’s eyes that he could get really carried away if he let himself go, but he was concentrating on getting it right for Dan, constantly looking up at him to make sure he was OK. Having only experienced raw lust in previous ‘relationships’, Dan hadn’t realised how potent such a strong love and mutual respect for someone could be for an intense physical act. He began to grind his hips towards Phil, craving some friction, as Phil was now sliding three fingers in and out of him, and managing to hit his sensitive spot every few times, driving him into a frenzy.

“Oh God Phil, I want you to fuck me…need you inside me baby…”Dan whined, sounded needy, but a bit shaky at the same time.

“You sure Dan?…I’m still a bit scared of hurting you”

“Please Phil, you’re teasing me now, come on, I want you in me” Dan pleaded, biting his lip with frustration and pressing his arse desperately against Phil’s massive, hard cock.

“Tell me if I hurt you, Let me know if you want me to st….”

“PHIL, Just FUCK me, will you, shit, I want you now!” Dan moaned, already stroking his cock in anticipation.

Phil held him gently but firmly and began to enter Phil, as smoothly as he could, his heart pounding. Dan gasped and felt his eyes roll back in his head – Phil felt as though he was filling him up inside.

“Oh fuck, Phil, please start moving, it’ll feel easier” he panted, gripping the bed head wildly.

Phil started thrusting, concentrating hard on not getting too carried away, but it was so difficult – the sound of Dan’s hoarse, desperate voice, combined with the intense tight heat around his cock was so stimulating.

“Mmmmm, Dan, oh God, I never dreamed it would feel so….so good” he murmured, thrusting faster and a little harder.

Dan was unravelling fast now, feeling Phil hit his prostate every single time it seemed, sending him into a feeling of complete sensitivity overload. He was bucking his own hips to draw him in deeper and deeper, both of them sweating, their hair and hands everywhere. Dan almost felt his head going into that fizzing feeling just before you black out and he had to make himself try to breathe more slowly – he was nearly there now. Phil was finding this far more pleasurable and uninhibited than anything he’d ever had before, but still had the awareness that Dan was now losing himself.

“You OK Dan? ….Is this OK?” he panted, his voice ragged, thrusting hard and fast, his rhythm starting to go all over the place, as he pumped his way closer to coming with each thrust. He was covering Dan with finger-marks, trying to get more purchase and nibbling his flesh with absolute abandon.

Dan was almost completely gone now – lost in complete pleasure. His whole body felt as though he was full of Phil, owned completely by him and every nerve jangling with intense sensitivity and build-up.. His eyes were closed tight and he was just focusing on every single movement of friction inside him.

“Mmmmmfphhhhhillllll, I’m so close…..oh Fuck Philllll..gonna…….OH FUCK PHILLLLLLL!” he screamed out.

Dan’s voice and the sound of his name being screamed out was too much and Phil felt what seemed like his entire contents pumping out, trembling and shuddering inside his gorgeous younger lover.

“Oh Dan, Oh god, Oh fuck….” Phil panted. They both collapsed, heaving with exhaustion, their chests rising and falling in time. “Shit, are you OK?…please tell me I didn’t hurt you…” he questioned anxiously through the breaths, gently stroking Dan’s damp face.

“It’s OK Phil….fuck, that was amazing….you’re fucking amazing….fucking _huge_ , but amazing…” he grinned shyly, looking at Phil’s big concerned eyes, “Hold me baby, I need cuddles, need to know you love me” he whispered needily. He felt all used up and sore and wanted a bit of the gentle Phil back now they were both spent.

“Dan, I love you more than you’ll ever know. I want to be with you here forever and ever” Phil reassured him, pulling him close and not caring about the mess they both had on them. “Come here gorgeous.” He ran his fingers through Dan’s damp hair, trying unsuccessfully to smooth it.

Dan smiled bashfully, feeling a bit clingy for now, but not really caring how much Phil knew how he felt. He was here with the man he loved and all the dreams he had ever dreamed had come true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So cute...Hope you're enjoying this. Plenty more to come. XXXX


	8. A Coward's Way Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys worry about Emma and decide to go and see whether she's OK.

**CHAPTER EIGHT - A COWARDS WAY OUT**

The rest of the day was quiet for the two men. They dozed together, then eventually got out of bed and into the shower to clean up, together. They didn’t really want to be apart, both feeling a bit clingy after such a massive change to both of their lives this last 24 hours.

Phil cooked, still feeling guilty about sending Dan out last night. After they’d eaten together, they cuddled up on the sofa in their slobby clothes with the TV on, Dan with his laptop on his knee as usual.

“I wonder what Emma’s doing…how she is..” Phil ventured, voicing what had been on both of their minds a lot this afternoon.

“I’ve been wondering about her too” Dan replied. “Perhaps we should call her? I know her family’s away this week on holiday – she’ll need someone to talk to.”

“And you really think she’ll want to speak to us?! Don’t forget, she doesn’t know the ‘other woman’ is _you_ yet. I do want to make sure she’s OK though. Perhaps her not knowing about you yet would mean that she’ll speak to you.” Phil replied.

“Yeah, but we need to tell her – she’s going to feel betrayed whenever she finds out – so the sooner the better really – I don’t want her finding out, weeks down the line. I’m going to call her now and make sure she’s OK first though” Dan reasoned, fishing his mobile phone out from down the side of the sofa. He found Emma’s name and made the call, Phil sitting anxiously and quietly beside him.

The phone rang out, then went to voicemail.

“Hi Em, it’s me, Dan. I just wanted to make sure you’re OK and if you need me, give me a call. Speak soon.” He hung up. “She probably doesn’t feel much like talking – she might think I’m spying on her for you because you feel guilty” he shrugged.

“She’d be right then” Phil frowned. He _was_ worried about her – whatever had happened, he did love her very much. “Would you just try her on her land line Dan?”

The land line just rang out too.

“She’s probably gone out with a friend” Dan reassured Phil “We’ll try again in an hour or so.”

When they called again, it was starting to get late, so when there was still no answer on either line, Dan suggested that they went round to check she was OK.

“She’s not going to let me in – I’m the last person she’ll want to see” Phil replied.

“But Phil…will you come with me anyway?” Dan pleaded “I don’t really feel like going out there on my own.” He was still feeling nervous about the attack and wanted to feel safe in hs company.

“Yeah sure, sorry love, I didn’t think. – you must still be a bit scared of being out in the dark after what happened –of course I’ll come, but I won’t come in – Emma won’t want me there.” Phil answered, putting his arm round his boyfriend’s shoulder reassuringly. He quite liked the feeling of looking after Dan, protecting him from any harm.

When they arrived at Emma’s flat, Dan let himself in, using the key they still had. Phil stayed in the hallway. Everywhere in the lounge was dark, except for the glow of the television set, which was muted. The curtains hadn’t been drawn and there was no sign of Emma.

“Emma…Em? Where are you? It’s only Dan. Are you OK?” he shouted.

No answer. Dan felt nervous and flicked the television set off, drew the curtains and put the light on. He checked the kitchen and was alarmed to see two empty bottles of wine and third one half drunk.

“Shit Em, what the fuck have you been doing?” he muttered and made his way into her bedroom, which was also dark. “Emma! It’s Dan…are you OK? Where are you?” he shouted, sounding as cheerful and friendly as he could, even though his heart was pounding. There was no-one there, although her bed was unmade and photos of her and Phil were strewn across the bed. “Shit…Emma, where are you?” he repeated.

A groan suddenly came from the direction of the bathroom and Dan’s stomach flipped over. He ran in and there she was, lying sprawled out on the floor. The room smelt – she had clearly vomited on herself and on the floor and was in a pretty bad state.

“Oh Em, what have you done to yourself?” he asked gently. “How long have you been lying here?” She was shivering and had tried to wrap herself in a towel.

“Daaaannnnn….how did you get heeeere?” Emma slurred, half opening her red eyes. “I’m afraid I’ve ‘ad raaaather a lot to drink….mmmm absolutely pished” she said quite loudly, swaying as she tried unsuccessfully to sit up.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up a bit” Dan said, feeling dreadful and knowing that she was in this state partly because of him.

“Daaaaan, Phi’s fuuuuckin’ well _left_ me, for some fuuuuckin’ _whore_ …” she drawled “I loved him Dan, I did…..I l _ove_ him and he’s gone off with some _bitch._ Oh Christ, the room’s spinning Daaaann”

Dan bit his lip “You just let me clean you up and we’ll get you to bed sweetheart” he said quietly, hating himself. He washed her face and managed to carry her through to her bedroom, then set about trying to get her undressed and into her bed. Dan felt like a big brother, wanting to protect her, but knowing that she needed to learn what a bastard he’d been to her.

Once she was safely tucked up in bed, Dan sat down on the edge and stroked her hair out of her eyes. She wasn’t really asleep, but she was pretty drunk and not really in control. _Poor Em_ , Dan thought- she must have had a crap day, here on her own, upset and driven to drink.

Just as he was about to creep out, she half opened her swollen eyes again and reached for his hand.

“Daaaan. Why did Phil doooo thisssss to meee? Issss shee reeeeelly pretty?” she moaned tearfully.

Dan’s stomach lurched and he felt as though his whole mouth had been sucked of any moisture. Tears welled up in his own eyes.

“Phil will always love you Em…and so will I….we adore you and hate to think that you’re so unhappy” he began.

“Phil doesn’t love me any more Daaan” she cried “he wouldn’t have gone off with another girl if he did.”

Dan stroked her hair and wiped her face a bit –he felt that he needed to display how much he cared for her and was afraid that she wouldn’t ever want to see him again after she found out. He sat up and looked away, unable to bear it. He stood up and walked over to the window, where he could see Phil waiting outside in the street, playing nervously with his phone. He knew he had to tell her.

“Phil _does_ love you, Em, don’t you see? This wasn’t planned – he’s beside himself thinking that you’re upset. Phil hasn’t gone off with another girl – he never meant to hurt you….”

He paused, trying to find the words.

“Phil hasn’t fallen in love with another girl….he’s fallen in love with me” Dan whispered.

There was no response. He turned towards Emma, expecting to see a shocked or even angry face staring back at him, but he saw neither. Emma’s eyes were shut and her breathing regular.

She was fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dan meant well,I'm sure and wouldn't we all want him to look after us like this?  
> 


	9. Life Goes On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get very sweet and extremely sticky as Dan craves his favourite addiction.... fun and mess follow!

**CHAPTER NINE – LIFE GOES ON**

Things were very different for Dan, Phil and Emma in the weeks that followed. After the ‘revelation’ day when Phil had ended one relationship and started another, life went on, but not as they knew it before. There was no contact at all between the new boyfriends and Emma, for one main reason.

Dan couldn’t be absolutely certain whether Emma had heard him tell her about him and Phil, so they didn’t like to contact her, in case she had heard and was too furious and upset to speak to them.

On the other hand, if she _hadn’t_ heard what he said, she was obviously embarrassed about her state of intoxication and probably still very upset with Phil.

Emma however, had in reality been so drunk, tired and disorientated that she couldn’t remember too much about that evening. She’d spent the day crying and drinking and recalled spending a lot of time looking through old photos of her and Phil, from the days when he loved her.

She knew she’d already had far too much to drink when she’d opened that third bottle, but she just hadn’t really cared any more. Then she’d been sick –oh god, she’d been _really_ sick and she must have passed out for a bit. When she’d woken up, Dan had been there- her lovely friend Dan. She was ashamed when she remembered how kind he’d been and how he’d undressed her and cleaned her up. Then she’d fallen asleep and had some really bizarre dream when everything spun and Dan was telling her that Phil loved _him_ now.

She couldn’t quite shake the weird feeling that perhaps it hadn’t been a dream, but when she’d woken early the following morning, feeling rough as hell, she couldn’t separate her drink fuelled imaginings from reality. Dan had gone, the flat had been tidied, the bathroom cleaned and everywhere was locked up and safe. The thought of it made her feel so embarrassed and foolish for what she’d thought, that she just couldn’t face Dan for a while, even though he often sent her little texts to check up on her and see if she was OK. She certainly didn’t want to see Phil, even though she missed him, so the weeks just passed by and she immersed herself in her work, taking on extra hours and avoiding spending too much time feeling lonely.

Dan and Phil were very busy with their lives too, both in work and play. Considering how well they already knew each other, they were spending a lot of time discovering new things. Although they had separate bedrooms, they took turns sleeping in each other’s rooms, depending on how and where the mood took them.

They had already been such good friends, but now they both felt inseparable. The initial awkwardness of their first sex together had worn off and they were beginning to establish a new and exciting abandonment. They were learning more about each other’s bodies by the day - finding out what made the other one shudder with delight.

Phil tended to dominate, which had come as something of a surprise to him, as Dan had usually been the more dominate one in their day-to-day and working relationship. Phil was usually the one to make the first move when they had sex, but in truth it was usually because Dan had deliberately flirted with him and acted the slut, pretending that he didn’t know Phil was watching. He would wait in the kitchen and when Phil was busy preparing some food, he’d reach across him and ‘accidentally on purpose' brush his groin against Phil’s leg. Then there had been the time with the Nutella….

Phil was busy editing in his room, when Dan had come in and plonked himself down on the bed behind him.

“Hey Phil, how’s it going?” he asked.

“What? Oh yeah, OK…I should have this done in another hour or so, then we’ll be good to go and get something to eat…” he replied, still concentrating on his laptop.

“Yeah, I’m getting hungry – had to grab something to keep me going” Dan said, all innocently. Phil could see Dan in the mirror he had on his desk. He was holding their jar of Nuttella in one hand and a small spoon in the other, and had started to scoop some of the delicious chocolate spread out.

“Too much of that stuff’ll make you sick Dan” he muttered, in his best ‘daddy’ voice.

“Sorry Daddy, I promise I won’t make myself sick” Dan answered, pretending he didn’t know that Phil was watching him in the mirror and avoiding his gaze. He seductively licked the chocolate spread off the spoon, then slowly inserted it into his sexy open mouth, half closing his eyes and running his tongue around his lips.

Phil felt his cock stir in his jeans – he knew what dirty little game Dan was playing and he couldn’t wait, but he forced himself to avert his eyes and pretend to keep on with his editing. Dan had laid down on the bed now, his knees bent upwards, and had discarded the spoon altogether, choosing instead to dip his middle finger into the pot. Phil made sure he wasn’t looking, then angled the mirror so he could continue to watch, even though his back was still facing Dan. Dan smirked, then began licking the Nuttella off his finger, very slowly and suggestively. He ran his tongue up and down the length of his finger, then carefully started to move it in and out of his mouth, closing his eyes as he did so.

Phil had lost all concentration on his work now and had started to palm himself through his jeans. He could see enough through the mirror to know that Dan was already fully hard and that he would want to have his jeans off to allow him to be more comfortable.

Dan continued with the charade and when Phil didn’t respond, he started to moan with pleasure, making out that it was because of the taste of the chocolate spread. He opened his big brown innocent eyes and they met with Phil’s dilated pupils staring back through the mirror.

“You hungry too babe?” Dan asked, scooping another load onto his finger and holding it out to his boyfriend.

“Yeah….I’m very hungry” Phil replied suddenly, pushing his chair backwards and turning to face Dan on the bed. He stood over him, looking hungrily down at his wide eyed lover, then leaned forward to suck the Nuttella off his fingers, copying the same action Dan had done to him. He fell onto the bed and pulled at Dan’s T-shirt, wanting him urgently. Dan was such a tease – he’d got him all worked up and desperate, made him feel like a crazed sex addict – he was usually such an innocent, gentle guy that he didn’t know what came over him – he was like some animal.

That was precisely what Dan wanted. He loved to see this transformation. Phil was so cute and childlike and he got amazing satisfaction from seeing his innocent blue eyes turn dark and sultry when his pupils grew; and of course from seeing Phil grow huge in other ways too. He always teased him so that Phil would be driven to make the first move - make _him_ the one in control, so he could allow himself to do whatever Phil wanted – that drove Dan wild.

When they were both naked, their mouths moving over each other’s bodies and their hands pulling at their hair, Phil started to rummage around for something on the bedside table, trying to find something but without stopping what they were doing.

“The lube’s…in…the …drawer..” Dan gasped between kisses.

“Don’t want..the lube…” Phil chuckled breathlessly, his lips curling upwards naughtily against Dan’s. Dan pulled away to see that Phil was holding the jar of Nutella triumphantly, a wicked and suggestive grin on his face.

“Oh!” Dan’s eyebrows raised, as he started to see what fun might lie ahead “and what are you going to do with that?”

“Hope you’re still feeling hungry Dan” Phil said, his voice low and strong “because naughty boys who help themselves to the chocolate jar might end up eating more than they bargained for.”

Dan fought back the urge not to laugh with delight and instead put on his best innocent voice again.

“I’m sorry Daddy, I’ll be sure to ask next time before I have any.” He looked up through his fringe at Phil’s stern face, trying to look angelic.

“I’ll have to teach you a lesson in manners” Phil continued, taking a large portion of Nutella from the jar and proceeding to draw a long, messy, chocolaty line from his chest right down to his enormously swollen cock. He then took some more from the jar and wiped the spread all over its length. Dan watched transfixed, absent-mindedly palming his own erection, starting to get off, at the sight of Phil’s smooth pale skin being transformed into some kind of hors d’hoeuvre, just made for him.

“Now, you naughty little slut, I want you to make sure this is all licked off, so I’m nice and clean again.” He lay back onto the bed and Dan leaned over, ready to start at Phil’s chest. “Ah ah ah, no Dan, you must ask before you take the spread again…remember your manners” he chided, pulling his head away by his hair.

“Sorry Daddy. May I have some chocolate spread please?” Dan asked sweetly.

“Yes, you may” Phil said sternly, whilst trying to suppress a satisfied grin.

Dan straddled Phil’s thighs and leaned forward, drawing his tongue down the length of Phil’s chest and stomach, lapping at the spread and staring up into Phil’s encouraging eyes.

“Like this Daddy? Is this OK?” he said. Phil looked at his gorgeous boy, his face covered in chocolate and had to look away before he got too close.

“Yeah…that’s just gggggreat Dan…you’re doing a great jjjjjob” he arched his back as Dan reached the ‘main course’ and started licking the end of his cock, managing to get chocolate sauce on his nose now. “I want it all cleaned off properly.” His stern voice was starting to falter a bit, his concentration wavering.

“Thank you Daddy” Dan said in between licks, his tongue darting quickly over the end. He then slowed down, taking long laps which lasted the length of Phil’s cock, the friction driving Phil crazy. He was bucking his hips up towards Dan’s tongue, craving more and moaning out loud now, his arms up over his head, pulling at his own hair.

“Is it..is it all off now…?” he groaned “I need to be all clean before I get inside you…”

“Yes Daddy, shall I lube you up now?” Dan looked up obediently.

Phil felt around for the lube and passed it to Dan, who started rubbing it over Phil’s now very wet and red erection. It was almost too much and Phil felt himself teetering on the edge.

“NO, …stop!, I’ll do it..” he said, hurriedly changing their plan – any more contact from Dan would have sent him over. He looked at Dan, who was frantically rubbing his own cock now, watching Phil. Dan had laid down on the bed –he wanted Phil to be facing him – wanted to see him pushing into him, to watch his face as he lost himself inside him.

“Need to help _you_ along a bit first” Phil panted – he needed a few moments without any more friction before he fucked his boyfriend, knowing he wouldn’t last a minute otherwise. He dipped his fingers once more into the Nuttella jar and started to spread it over Dan’s cock now. “Just returning the favour..” he said, as he lowered his head down and started to do to Dan, what he had just had the pleasure of himself. Dan was already very excited and the sight of his cock disappearing into Phil’s mouth was almost unbearable. He couldn’t hold back and starting thrusting into Phil’s mouth, holding his head. “Hey…slow down baby” Phil said, removing himself. Dan smirked- Phil had chocolate all round his mouth and looked adorable, but so fucking sexy, both at the same time. Dan let out a frustrated groan.

“Please Daddy…please don’t stop…” he moaned.

“I want to feel you come when I’m inside you though, baby” Phil reasoned gently and moved so that he was lying on top of his writhing boyfriend.

“Oh God, _please_ Daddy….I need you now” Dan whined, pushing his hips up frantically and wrapping his thighs around Phil’s back.

“OK baby, Daddy’s going to fuck you now” Phil whispered gently into Dan’s ear as he positioned himself at his entrance. He slowly moved inside – too slowly for Dan’s liking – he grinded his hips upwards towards Phil, pressing his hands against his ass, pulling him in further, greedily. Dan gasped- it was always painful for the first few seconds, as Phil completely filled him – he could fell himself stretching again to accommodate his well-endowed lover, but the feeling soon passed. Phil was always so tender and considerate, despite only ever wanting to just thrust into his boyfriend with abandon.

The sex was amazing – both covered in chocolate sauce and lube, but they didn’t really notice the mess any more. Phil started to thrust faster and faster and Dan could feel his cock rubbing against their stomachs. He could see Phil’s eyes, glazed, pupils huge as he looked down at him, a look of complete passion and love on his face. His own hands were running through Phil’s hair, pulling his dark locks – covering him with bites and now little nail marks as he started to get close. Phil was hitting his sweet spot with every thrust and he knew he was nearly there.

Dan looked again at Phil – he had closed his eyes and his mouth had started to fall open – a look of complete concentration on his face – he knew Phil was nearly there too – his breath was ragged and his rhythm was all over the place. Dan knew he could let go.

“Daddy…Daddy…I’m gonna….I mean…can I come please Daddy?” he moaned breathlessly, arching his back and pulling Phil in with his thighs.

“Y y y yeah baby….Oh Dan…..” the volume of Phil’s voice had risen, as it often did when he forgot himself. He felt Dan tighten around him and the familiar warmth of his lover's come, shuddering out between them.

That was enough for Phil too – the tightening sensation and the sight of Dan arching up, his eyes tightly closed, his hands clutching at the sheets, sent him to his climax too and he pumped into his boyfriend, crying out in pleasure.

For a few moments, they just lay there, Phil still inside Dan. They were sticky, sweaty and a mess. Both had chocolate on their bodies, their faces and in their hair. Phil was the first to speak.

“Hey Dan….you OK? Shit, we made a real mess.”

“D’you think this’ll come out of the sheets OK? We don’t want the phandom to notice any suspect stains on our videos” he chuckled.

“Hey Dan….”

“What?”

“I feel a bit sick”

“I promise I won’t touch the chocolate jar again for a while, Daddy” Dan murmured, snuggling up to his wonderful lover.

“Hey Dan…” Phil smiled, closing his eyes and kissing Dan’s hair.

“What?”

“I can’t promise that _I_ won’t.”


	10. Keeping Mum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan needs to share his good news and the guys go on a journey.

**CHAPTER TEN – KEEPING MUM**

Another couple of weeks passed by and Dan and Phil had started to master the art of concealing their relationship at work. Luckily, the radio show was less frequent these day, but Phil especially was paranoid that their work colleagues who had known them so long, would somehow guess that things had changed between them.

He was so paranoid as a matter of fact, that he was actually overcompensating and seemed to appear colder than usual with his boyfriend. Pete, one of the guys who helped them set up the show noticed the change and asked if everything was OK between them.

“Yeah, no probs, we’re fine, aren’t we Phil?” Dan replied, shooting Phil a worried look. Once Pete was out of the room, he came over to Phil and had to tell him to be a bit more like himself.

“Sorry Dan, it’s just that I can’t look at you without thinking about what we did together before we left the flat…” Phil answered sheepishly. He had to put the image of Dan out of his mind, a couple of hours earlier, leaning up against the wall in the shower, wet and hot and screaming his name. “I feel as though everyone will know.”

“Don’t be daft you silly twat – we’re just friends, very, very good friends for all they know…except that we know better” Dan added, quickly kissing Phil’s worried face.

On the way back, after the show, Phil took hold of Dan’s hand in the taxi.

“I don’t want you to think that I’m in any way embarrassed of what we’ve got, you know” he said gently “It’s just that I’m worried it would be unprofessional if they knew at work…and word might get back to Emma –I’m still not convinced that she knows what’s gone on between us, even though I wish she did.”

“It’s OK Phil” Dan smiled, flashing those dimples that gave Phil butterflies every time “I agree with you…but I would like to tell _someone_ – I’m really proud that you’re my boyfriend now and I’m dying to share my news with my family….if you’re OK with that?”

“How do you think your mum will take it? I mean, I’ve known her for years- she might be a bit shocked” Phil replied, adding quickly “but I’m really cool with you wanting to tell her…”

Dan smirked, a bit bashfully, showing his dimples again. “Actually Phil, my mum probably won’t be that surprised. She’s known I’m gay for a while now…and I think she might have already guessed that I had a massive crush on you. She gives me these knowing looks when I talk about you, which is pretty often. She’s never actually said, but..well, Mums know these things I suppose.”

“I’m good with it then, it could be a bit weird and embarrassing, but I’m proud that I’m your boyfriend too. Shall we go up to see them this week? We could catch a train” Phil suggested.

“ Good idea…but Phil..?”                                                                                                                            

“What?”

“You’ll have to tell your mum too –or my mum will be straight on the phone. You know how they like to gossip about us” Dan pointed out.

“Oh yeah…” Phil looked a bit uncomfortable.

“What’s up?”

“Well, _my_ mum thinks I’m straight. She doesn’t even know that Emma and I have split up yet. She loves Emma…..” he said awkwardly; he didn’t want to hurt Dan’s feelings. I’ll have to tell her sometime though.. I suppose we should really make a trip up to see her as soon as we can after your mum.” He turned to look at Dan and squeezed his thigh affectionately. “Yeah…let’s do the whole closet opening thing in one go….shit, I’m really nervous now. We’ll see if we can get tickets for tomorrow, get it over with and out in the open.”

“Thanks Phil – this means a lot” Dan grinned, then added “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

The next day, they were on the train headed to Dan’s family home. Dan was pretty relaxed, but Phil was a bag of nerves, his foot tapping incessantly on the floor.

Dan watched him, smirking. He remembered how he’d felt when he told his mum his was gay. He’d been terrified, but his mum was great and really supportive, telling him that she didn’t care, just as long as he was happy. He glanced over at Phil and felt his heart melt- he wanted to protect him from all the stresses of the world, yet he knew that most of the causes of Phil’s worries at moment were as a result of their relationship – Phil was still worrying about Emma and missing her, for her company and the laughs they’d had together and now this; telling his mum that he was gay. He watched Phil, who looked a million miles away, watching the miles fly by through the window of the train.

At the next station, the train doors opened and a couple with their young baby sat down in the seats across the aisle to them. The baby was about a year old and at that very cute stage when they have started to stare at people and smile. Dan glanced over and smiled back at her and she continued to smile a big gummy smile at him, staring through huge blue eyes.

“She’s gorgeous, what’s her name?” Dan enquired, seeing the proud mum smiling over at him too.

“It’s Katy. Sorry, she stares at everyone at the moment – it can get really embarrassing” she replied, turning Katy round, unsuccessfully.

“It’s fine, we don’t mind, do we Phil? How old is she?” Dan cooed, reaching over and holding his hand out to little Katy, who grabbed his thumb in her tight fist and continued to stare.

Katy wasn’t the only one staring. Phil couldn’t take his eyes off her and Dan. He felt an intense feeling of loss and emotion sweep over him and had to take a big gulp. He wasn’t sure why he felt so strongly all of a sudden – perhaps it was the intensity of the trip and everything it entailed? Perhaps it was seeing Dan with that gorgeous baby? Or perhaps because he was reminded that the scenario he saw before him- the happy family that would never be his. He found it to be a very bitter pill to swallow.

The thought made him feel guilty. He adored his new life with Dan and he wouldn’t swap it for anything – he was far happier these days than he’d ever been in his life, but to never be a dad sat heavy on his heart. Dan hadn’t seemed to notice – he was still chatting with Katy’s mum and dad, but Phil turned away and watched the station disappearing behind them, as they pulled away once more.

The rest of the journey was quiet – Dan felt that Phil wanted to be left to his own thoughts, so he put his headphones on and listened to some music. The family with the baby got off at the next stop and Katy gave a last super sweet gurgle and wave to her new friend Dan. Phil glanced over and it crossed his mind how natural his boyfriend was with babies. Perhaps one day they’d be able to adopt, he reflected sadly, then smiled a bit to himself at the thought of sharing the rest ofhis life with Dan.

Finally they arrived and managed to get into a taxi outside the station, giving directions to Dan’s house.

“You OK babe?” Dan said gently, squeezing Phil’s hand, sitting side by side in the back seat. “Only you seemed a bit quiet on the train..”

“What? Oh yeah…just nervous and a bit shy at what your mum’ll say” Phil replied. He didn’t mention the baby – Dan might be a bit hurt that he regretted anything about their relationship.

"She loves you, don't worry"

“Yeah, well that was before she knew I was having my wicked way with her innocent little Daniel” Phil whispered in his ear, not wanting the macho bloke in the flat cap, who was driving their taxi to hear. Within a few minutes, they arrived and were walking up the path to the front door.

“Prepare yourself to be smothered in hugs, babe” Dan smirked, ringing the doorbell.

The door opened and Dan’s mum shrieked with delight.

“Dan! What a wonderful surprise!” she exclaimed, throwing her arms round her son and kissing him full on the mouth. “And you brought Phil too!” she added, giving him the same treatment.

“Hi Mum. Can we come in or are we going to stand out her kissing and hugging all morning?” Dan grinned cheekily.

“Of course, come in, come in, I’ll put the kettle on. You two sit down here- I want to hear all of your news when I come back in with the drinks.”

Dan raised his eyebrows suggestively at his boyfriend while his mum went rushing off into the kitchen to get the mugs out. When she came back, she sat down and looked them both up and down.

“Well, you both look well- you’ve obviously been looking after yourselves – you’ve been eating properly I can see. Or has that lovely girlfriend of yours been doing all the cooking for you Phil? When are you going to make an honest woman of her? It’ll be the pitter patter of tiny feet then I suppose? You’ll make lovely parents….”

“Er…actually Mrs H…” Phil interrupted, suddenly feeling a bit lost for words and sensitive again.

Dan jumped in – he could sense the discomfort “Mum…that’s why we’ve come to see you actually…”

“Ooooh – have you run off and married her without inviting me to the wedding?” Dan’s mum demanded, then added “Or don’t tell me…she’s already expecting?!”

“No Mum!” Dan butted in – Phil was squirming now and looked absolutely horrified. “Phil and Emma are no longer together Mum – they split up a couple of months ago actually.”

Dan’s mum put her hand across her mouth and blushed, looking deeply mortified.

“Oh my God, I’m so, so sorry Phil, please forgive me –didn’t mean to upset you love…” she said putting her hand apologetically on his arm.

“That’s OK, ..I mean I’m quite alright….really happy in fact” he smiled sheepishly, catching Dan’s gaze and trying to send telepathic messages to him that this was his big cue. Luckily Dan caught on quickly.

“Phil’s already with someone else actually, mum” he smiled, keeping his gaze fixed on Phil’s huge, blue eyes and flashing those adorable dimples again.

“What? Well that was quick Phil! Who’s the lucky girl then?”, she gushed, very glad of the distraction from her earlier comment. Phil didn’t reply though, instead he looked shyly at Dan, then down at his hands, where he was nervously picking at his fingers. “Well?” she persisted, looking first at Phil, confused, then at her son, who was still staring at his friend affectionately. Dan stood up and moved to sit down on the arm of Phil’s chair, putting his arm around him.

“Actually mum, there’s no lucky girl, but _I’m_ the luckiest guy in the world” Dan said, kissing Phil lightly on the cheek.

Dan’s mum looked first absolutely shocked, then, as the penny dropped, uttered a little squeal “Oh!” then “Arhhhhh, but that’s so lovely!” She beamed at her son knowingly “And we thought that Phil was just your _friend_ …” Dan blushed…he was right – she had guessed all along that he thought of Phil as more than his best mate. How did mums just _know_ this stuff? Infuriating.

They spent a great and much more relaxed couple of hours or so at the house, feeling happier now that their relationship was out in the open. They caught up on all the other news, about work and their new web projects, while Dan’s mum filled them in on family news. Finally, they announced that they needed to get going – they were planning on catching another train up to Lancashire that afternoon, so they could get to Phil’s family’s house that evening. Dan made his mum promise not to telephone ahead of them, because Phil wanted to tell his mum in person, so she agreed, respecting their wishes. Phil had already got in the taxi and was waiting, while Dan hugged his mum goodbye on the doorstep and promised to visit again soon.

“You make sure you look after him, son – Phil’s a lovely guy, I’ve always liked him. All I want is for you to be happy – you know that don’t you?” she said to him, kissing him.

“I know that and yeah, I’ll look after him. We look after each other… I do love him mum.”

“Everything comes to those who wait hey?” she smiled.

“Well, he certainly made me wait, but he was worth waiting for. See you soon mum.”

He climbed into the taxi, proud to be next to his gorgeous boyfriend. They both waved like a pair of love-struck idiots through the window of the cab as they drove away. She smiled, so happy for Dan, then turned and went inside.


	11. Going North

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil pay Phil's mum a surprise visit and give her some unexpected news.

**CHAPTER ELEVEN – GOING NORTH**

“Well, that went well” Dan exhaled, settling himself down on the train for the next leg of their journey. They’d barely had chance to talk since they left Dan’s house – they’d had a particularly chatty cab driver who hadn’t shut up all the way to the station, then they nearly missed their train. They were both breathless as they found their seats and got comfortable.

“Yeah, just my mum to go now…and she thinks I’m bloody _straight_!” Phil muttered, already feeling jittery despite having a few hours to go before they’d arrive.

“She’ll be cool with it, you’ll see. Her and Emma got on well though didn’t they?”

“Mmmm, that’s what makes it difficult. I wish Emma would contact me – my mum’s bound to ask after her.” Phil started to pick at his hands again. Dan glanced around – the carriage was pretty empty – just a girl at the other end, with her headphones on, looking out of the window. He still felt a bit weird showing his affection to Phil in public, although he didn’t know why – it’s just that people could be so homophobic. He squeezed Phil’s firm thigh, then leaned in and pecked him on the cheek, flashing him a reassuring smile.

“I’ll be with you- you’re not doing this on your own you know…” Phil couldn’t help but smile back as he looked into those big chocolate brown eyes gazing at him.

“I know….I’m just really nervous. I just want it out in the open now” he replied, then he put his headphones on and started to play with his phone. Dan took that as his way of saying he didn’t want to talk about it anymore, so he did the same, then closed his eyes to dream away the journey.

When they arrived at the Lester residence, they got pretty well the same reception as at the Howell’s. Mrs Lester greeted them with open arms and was delighted to see them.

“Oh, how great to see you both! And you’ve brought luggage…I hope that means you’ll be staying over?”

“Yeah mum, if that’s OK?...” Phil felt a churning in his stomach at the thought of the ‘sleeping arrangements’ and how everything would go down.

“You’ll have to both go in your old room, if that’s OK Philip? – Martyn’s room’s full of stuff at the moment. Or Dan or you could go on the sofa…”

“Um…Yeah, don’t worry mum, we can sort it out later” he said awkwardly, glancing at Dan, who had to look away.

“OK, well, sit down you two – I want to hear all your news. How’s Emma? When are you two going to give me a lovely grandchild?” she asked, teasing. Phil’s heart nearly leapt out of his chest. Shit, what was it with mums? Did they just know how to drive the dagger in ? He felt suddenly vulnerable and unsure about this, but then noticed Dan staring encouragingly, just out of his mum’s field of vision. It was now or never and he certainly didn’t want to put this off longer than was necessary. He took a deep breath.

“Well mum, actually Emma and I aren’t together any more. We split up a couple of months ago…”

“Oh no, whatever happened? – you two seemed so close – like you were made for each other” she protested.

“Um, I er..I’ve fallen for someone else, someone I’ve known for a long time. Emma and I were close, but not in the right way – she was more like my friend, not my girlfriend – it just didn’t quite feel right…” Phil paused, trying to get the words right. “….and I’m afraid there’ll be no grandchildren” he added softly, his voice a bit choked “…because there won’t be another girl in my life….I’ve already found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with and he’s right here.” Phil allowed his eyes to travel back across the room to Dan, knowing that his mum was following his gaze – her own eyes full of shock.

“Phil?” she faltered for a moment and he could see that she was choked with tears too – their eyes locked and he was horrified to see terrible disappointment in them. He felt as though he’d been punched in the gut – as though he’d let the two women he most loved in the world down. His mum looked at him, then at Dan, before she mumbled “I see” and scuttled off into the kitchen as though she couldn’t get away quick enough.

Dan felt helpless – it hadn’t gone well, although of course his own mum had already known about his sexuality. It was obviously a huge shock to Mrs Lester and it killed him to see his kind and gentle boyfriend struggle so much with this. Phil was trembling a bit with emotion – his cheeks were pink and his eyes full of hurt and tears.

“Mum…!” he yelled, before following her into the kitchen. She stood with her back to him, hands gripping the work surface, obviously trying to compose herself. “Mum, please…I know this must be hard for you, but I can’t help it…I’m still your son…still just Phil. I never really knew before, it was all pretty sudden…although I’ve had some feelings for Dan for a long time…I suppose I just buried them…went along with the life that was expected of me. Mum, I’m so happy now with Dan…please be happy for me too.”

His words seemed to have an effect on his mum. _He was right, of course he was. His happiness was the most important thing in the world_. She forced herself to smile and wiped her eyes, turning round to look at her handsome son. His concerned, devastated expression was enough to give her the strength to speak again.

“My gorgeous Phil. I’m so sorry – it was just a bit of a shock, that’s all. I’ve never suspected that you had any feelings for men in that way before. It just takes a bit of getting used to. And it’s Dan – you know I think the world of Dan – if you were going to go off with another man, I suppose I’m glad it’s him, he’s always been a great friend." She smiled, shakily at him and he put his arms round her and gave her a hug, waves of relief washing over him.

“Oh mum, I do love you. Please be happy for us?” he pleaded.

“If you’re happy, then I’m happy, love” she sighed and the two of them went back into the lounge, where Dan sat nervously. She walked over to him and gave him a hug.

“I’m sorry about that Dan – how I reacted, I mean. I know that you make Philip happy, so that’s OK with me.”

Dan stood up and hugged her back, then shyly put his arm round Phil’s back.

Phil’s mum laughed a little and said “ You know, it’s a shame that you too can’t have babies together – you’re both so tall and handsome, they’d have been absolutely gorgeous.”

“Mum!” Phil protested, but they all laughed.

After a bite to eat and a couple of glasses of wine with Phil’s mum, Phil started to yawn a little –all the stress of the day had taken its toll and he needed to go to bed. His mum took the hint.

“Right then you two, I’m off to bed. I’ll er…I’ll leave you to sort out your sleeping arrangements….I’m er…not sure how you’ll be best comfortable, so er…you know where everything is…” she said, looking very embarrassed, before pecking them both on the cheek and scuttling off again. As soon as she’d disappeared out of the room, they giggled a bit, like two naughty little boys.

“She seems to be doing very well” Dan commented “D’you think she’s coming to term with things?”

“I think she’s probably still in shock, but I can see that she’s making a real effort for me. God, it was so difficult Dan. I thought for a moment that she was going to get really mad.”

“No, she wouldn’t do that – she can see how much it means to you” Dan pointed out. “Anyway, the worst’s over now, no more surprises for anyone. Come on sleepyhead – we need to make the bed up in your room don’t we?”

The boys went up to bed together and once everything was prepared, they snuggled under the sheets.

“Feels a bit weird sharing my old bed with another guy – this bed once held an innocent little boy you know..” Phil grinned.

“Don’t worry, I think it’s best we abstained tonight anyway – it might be just a bit too much, too soon for your mum if she heard any monkey business going on... and you can never keep your voice down” Dan murmured, teasing Phil just a little “It’s not as though I haven’t noticed something of yours pressing into my thigh…”

I know, but you’re so sexy, it’s difficult not to get hard with your hot little body next to me…I agree though – it would just be wrong to do it here – and a bit disrespectful too somehow, even though this’ll be the first day we’ll have gone without since we got together “ he mused.

“Let’s just spoon then. Glad today’s over baby?” Dan asked quietly cuddling into Phil’s back and kissing his neck “you’ve been all stressed out and upset – it’s not been easy for me to watch.”

“Mmmmm, yeah, I am glad…and glad that you’re here with me. Thanks for supporting me. Love you so much, Dan” Phil sighed contentedly.

“Love you too baby” Dan yawned.

They were both asleep within seconds, cocooned together beneath the quilt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a relief for Phil to get everything out in the open. Thanks for reading- I'm delighted that so many of you are. No smut in this chapter, but I promise that they'll make up for lost time in the next one.... Please keep your comments coming. XXXXX


	12. A Chance Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One night without proves too much to bear...

**CHAPTER 12 – A CHANCE ENCOUNTER**

The next morning, the boys had a great morning with Phil’s mum. She had shaken off her initial look of shock and bewilderment and made sure for Phil’s sake that she demonstrated how much she supported him. She had always adored her son and wanted more than anything for him just to be happy, whichever way life took him.

They had a big breakfast together, which although Dan enjoyed, he was still sleepy-he didn’t generally do mornings. Phil’s mum watched the two of them together, eating at the table and could see the way they looked at each other- they obviously meant a great deal to one another and in turn, that meant a great deal to her. Of course, she was disappointed about Emma and the fact that she’d probably now never have grandchildren of her own from Phil. She always thought he’d make a great dad – he was so caring and childlike himself. But it wasn’t to be and she would have to accept it and move forward.

Soon it was time to leave and as they went, she pulled them both together in a group hug.

“I love you both lots – it’s been great having you both to stay…and you look after each other, won’t you? Come back soon.” She kissed them both in turn and wished them a safe journey. As they climbed into the taxi, she smiled to herself. Her gorgeous, handsome son and his wonderfully handsome boyfriend. It would take a bit of getting used to, but _wow_ , they did make a beautiful couple.

The train and cab journeys seemed to Phil to last ages. Their night of restraint now meant that they needed each other desperately – Dan said it had been torture to share a small bed and not have any relief. Phil admitted that train journeys often made him feel horny anyway…something about the movement of the carriage, which amused Dan a lot.

It was early afternoon by the time they got off at the tube station and were nearly home,  and they were both feeling seriously needy.

“Christ, I hope we don’t meet any fans today…I don’t want anything holding me back from getting you home” Dan said quietly, as they walked quickly up the road.

“Me neither – if I don’t have you soon, I’m going to explode” Phil replied. He didn’t dare look at his boyfriend’s flushed, lusty face, choosing instead to look straight ahead and focus on getting home as quickly as possible.

Thankfully, there were no interruptions to their short journey, which was just as well because by the time they got to their front door a few minutes later, Phil was finding it seriously difficult to walk and had some problems concentrating enough to get the key in the lock.

The moment they got through the door and banged it shut behind them, they didn’t even bother trying to get up the stairs before they were all over each other, kissing passionately and feeling each other’s bodies. Dan cursed Phil for wearing one of his checked shirts today – he fumbled with all the buttons, trying to remove it for him, whilst simultaneously pushing him against the wall and moving his desperate tongue around his lover’s mouth and lips, groaning with lust.

Phil in the meantime had managed to undo Dan’s jeans and had his hands all over his cock, tracing his balls with his slender fingers and rubbing its length greedily. They were edging up the stairs now, neither of them wanting to have sex either on the stairs or in the hall, but at the same time unwilling to break the contact. By the time they got to the top and properly into their apartment, there was a trail of discarded clothing, shoes and underwear, tracing their path.

They ended up in the lounge, panting against each other, Dan grabbing at Phil’s body, Phil feeling spoilt for choice – Dan was so hot and desperate he didn’t have to time to think about how he was going to take him. Usually Phil took the lead, but today he was more than happy to allow his wild boyfriend all over him.

“Phil…I’ve missed you inside me….last night was shit – feeling your cock next to me and not being able to touch it” Dan panted, sulkily, between kisses. Phil had somehow ended up on his back on the sofa now, with Dan straddling him, running his hands all over his chest and down his sides. Dan was already sitting full on Phil’s rock hard cock, grinding up and down on him.

“Mhmmmm…one of us is going to have to get the lube though baby, if you want me, I’ll have to stretch you first, I don’t want you getting hurt” Phil murmured into Dan’s sensitive neck and collar bone, sending shivers of pleasure all over him. Something changed in Phil’s voice when he was excited and turned on like this- it seemed like it went deeper and more gravelly and it resonated right through Dan’s body to his already very swollen cock. He kissed Phil again, then disappeared off, arriving again in milliseconds with the top already off the bottle.

Phil hardly had time to shift his position when Dan was back on top of him again – it turned Phil on to see much how flustered and insistent Dan was being – his cheeks were flushed and his eyes full of lust. How he loved this beautiful man and how amazing that Dan wanted him and only him so much.

“Lay down baby, let’s get you ready” Phil instructed gently. He had become very skilful in stretching Dan these past few weeks and they both really enjoyed this part of sex. Phil coated his fingers with their favourite ‘Very Berry’ lube and introduced one finger at a time, gently scissoring them, which sent waves of pleasure through his boyfriend. ”Is this good? I can’t wait to get inside my gorgeous boy” he moaned, kissing the back of Dan’s neck and nibbling at him urgently.

Dan was palming himself and trying to get some extra friction from the sofa, as he lay on his front, enjoying the feel of Phil’s long, slender fingers inside him, moving. He was in the zone now, his eyes clouding over, sheen of sweat forming on his face.

“Can’t wait…much longer” he started to plead, turning himself back over. Phil looked down at him, almost swooning as he took in the image and tried to keep it in his memory forever. Dan looked so perfect like that – lying there, eyes half closed, his arms above his head, cheeks flushed, smooth beige skin, contrasting against the deep red of his erection. His hair, usually so perfect was over his eyes, all messed up and Phil loved it.

He sank to his knees next to Dan, whose eyes grew large with anticipation as he knew what Phil was about to do. Phil’s mouth on his cock was almost unbearable – the heat, just the contact. He groaned out loud and Phil moaned back, sending delicious vibrations through his skin.

“Phil…you won’t be able to do that…much…longer” he gasped “I want to…want to come when you’re inside me….” he blurted out. He was trying unsuccessfully not to fuck Phil’s mouth. He was nearly there, when Phil took his mouth away, making Dan writhe against thin air.

“I can’t wait either…” Phil announced quickly. He’s been rubbing himself the whole time he’d been pleasuring Dan. He positioned his boyfriend skilfully on the sofa, his gorgeous ass sticking delightfully and invitingly in the air before lining up the end of his cock against Dan’s entrance. Generally, they’d start slow and build up, but Phil sensed that today was more urgent and he immediately pushed all the way in. He could see Dan’s knuckles turn white, as he gripped tightly at the back of the sofa and cried out. “You OK baby?” he asked, concerned.

“Just …. _move_ , Phil…just fuck me…fuck me _really_ hard….I need you to just fuck me…” In truth, the first few thrusts had been painful; Phil was enormous and even though he’d been stretched, Phil’s fingers hadn’t prepared him to receive his whole cock in one go. Even so, knowing that he was being fucked by this well-endowed, hot guy, who was all his, got him past the initial pain and he soon felt himself pushing back towards Phil, meeting him halfway between thrusts. The other benefit of Phil’s size meant that he hit Dan’s sweet spot almost every time.

Within a minute or so, Dan was trembling and weak, his eyes rolling back in his head, almost unable to stop himself being fucked right off the sofa with each thrust.

“Fuck Dan… you’re so…fucking…tight” Phil panted. He knew that he was almost there and needed to know that Dan was too “Dan…I think I’m gonna come…” he stated urgently, thrusting fast and hard.

“Mhmmmmm!” was all that Dan managed to reply as Phil felt the familiar shuddering and tightening of Dan’s hole around his cock and pounded into him, releasing his hot, sticky liquid inside. They were both completely out of breath. The whole thing must have only lasted 10 or 15 minutes at the most, but it had been so urgent, so animalistic, that they hadn’t really cared about taking their time today.

Phil gently withdrew –he knew that he might have made Dan a little sorer than usual and lay next to him, wrapping his arm protectively round his precious man.

“You really OK?” he enquired, concern lacing his voice.

“I may not be able to walk properly for a week, but yeah, I’m more than fine. And so lucky to have a guy who can satisfy me like that” he grinned, a little sluttily, but cute.

Later that afternoon, once they’d recovered and eaten something, Dan suggested that they went out for coffee. He needed some caffeine –the early start had put his body clock all out of sorts and he was tired after their sex.

After arriving, they bought their drinks and sat in their usual corner, out of the way of most people, so as not to draw attention to themselves. They chatted quietly about everything that had gone on the day before. Dan knew that it was pretty busy in there, but he’d quickly looked around before they sat down and couldn’t see any fangirls hanging round. The place was mainly full of 40+ couples and older women, plus people of their age, on their way back from shopping trips.

He felt so proud of Phil – he’d had the courage to reveal his sexuality and their relationship to his family and he knew how hard his mum’s initial reaction had been on him. It only served to make him feel even closer to his boyfriend, knowing what he’d been through for him. They sat, heads bent in, close together, eyes locked, Dan daring to let his hand graze across Phil’s occasionally and to risk little strokes of his thigh under the table from time to time, reminding him of what they’d done a couple of hours ago. They felt so relaxed and happy together.

So relaxed that they hadn’t noticed, in amongst the other customers, two girls of their own age. Emma had seen Dan and Phil though.

She had come in with her best friend, Holly. Holly had persuaded her that she needed a girly afternoon out She’d been really down after the break up with Phil and had thrown herself into her work – so much so that she’d not been feeling great lately – run down and tired. She was over the worst few weeks without Phil – but she still missed him so very much. The initial anger had passed now and she was just left with a feeling of emptiness and loneliness. Strangely though, she hadn’t missed Phil’s physical contact – just his and Dan’s company. She had come to realise that perhaps there had been something major missing from their relationship. Had she mixed up friendship with love? On balance she’d decided that this was probably the case. And she missed their friendship more than the world.

When they’d first walked in, Emma froze, feeling sure that they would see her. She wanted to see them and avoid them in equal measures. She suddenly felt bad for not having returned any of Dan’s texts. He’d seemed so concerned, asking her time and time again to meet up, but she’d never answered. And here they were, in the coffee shop, right in front of her. She wasn’t sure what to do. When they sat down, she knew they hadn’t seen her and where she was sitting meant they probably wouldn’t, even though she had a clear of view of them.

Phil looked great, _glowing_ even. _That new woman in his life must be making him happy_ , she thought, a little bitterly. Dan looked a little tired, but still his usual cheeky self. She couldn’t help but smile a little at the sight of them. She felt a sadness wash over her – oh god, she missed them terribly.

When she looked again, she suddenly realised how _close_ they were to each other, how intently Phil was looking at Dan. Something was different between. _What was it?_ She couldn’t help staring at them, half afraid that they would catch her. She watched as Dan giggled and wiped a little of the coffee froth from the side of Phil’s mouth, before licking it of his own finger. She remained transfixed as his hand disappeared below the table and touched Phil’s thigh. Immediately, the reality came tumbling down on her, as though someone had opened an overfilled cupboard and everything had fallen down on them.

There was no other _woman._

There was another _man._

And it was Dan.

He had tried to tell her…that night when he’d looked after her, but she was too drunk to process the information. He had texted her so many times and tried to tell her again. She couldn’t pull her eyes away from them. They looked so happy and perfect together, she couldn’t help but feel warmth. Yes, they had betrayed her and if she seen this when she was still feeling raw, she might have reacted differently. But now, she only felt…. _happy_ for them and strangely _relieved_.

There was no other woman – there probably never had been. Phil had tried to explain – he’d told her he still loved her and god only knows, she still loved him. But seeing them here like this, was all she needed to confirm that their love had been as friends only.

She needed to get out.

“Come on, let’s go” she said hurriedly putting her coat on and heading for the door with Holly.

Dan saw her.

“Shit…Phil, it’s Emma and I think she saw us.” Dan exclaimed suddenly, removing his hand from beneath the table.

“Oh no, I’ll go after her” Phil said and pushed his chair back. Dan pulled him back.

“No…leave her- she might need some time” Dan replied.

They finished their drinks in silence, the atmosphere now feeling heavy between them, before walking home together, unsure what to say.

“Dan, I…I really miss her” Phil said that evening, when they were back home.

“So do I baby. I really do” Dan answered and he meant every word.


	13. An Unexpected Guest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil's evening is interrupted by a knock at the door.

**CHAPTER 13 –AN UNEXPECTED GUEST**

Another week went by. Both Phil and Dan had sent messages to Emma, pleading for her to get in touch. Phil had even been round there and tried her at home, but she either wasn’t in or just didn’t want to answer her door. He just wouldn'thave felt right using his key. Despite the past couple of months being the happiest time of his life, they had been clouded by thoughts of Emma and the fact that he had never had the opportunity to explain how he really felt about her. He needed her to know that he and Dan truly both loved her – that they never had any long and secret relationship before that night. He wanted to explain that he’d called their relationship off as soon as it had happened. He wanted her to know that she still meant the world to him, but just not as a lover.

But she refused to talk and it was eating him up.

Today was Saturday, the day that both of the guys missed Emma the most. They used to love the stupid games they’d play together, the meals they cooked, the laughs they had. They both knew in their heart of hearts that those days could never return, that it would probably be too awkward for Emma, but it didn’t stop them reminiscing.

They chose a film to watch that evening, but their hearts really weren’t in it. Dan poured the wine and settled down next to Phil, his head leaning on Phil’s lap as usual, his long legs stretched out on the sofa. They’d both been busy editing all day and were glad of the relaxation.

The film was boring and they were both starting to fall asleep, when the sound of their doorbell, followed by banging, made them both jump.

“Who the fuck’s that, at this time of night?” Dan started, sitting up. _Some fangirls have found out where we live,_ he thought, but was still a bit worried. _It might be some knife wealding nutter or even those ones that attacked me._

“I’ll go and see” Phil announced bravely.

“I’ll come too” Dan agreed, not so bravely, staying a couple of paces behind him.

Phil peered through the spyhole, muttered “Oh God”, then unlocked the door.

Emma stood there, eyes red, looking quite frankly dreadful at best. She just stood there looking at them both, seeming uncertain what to say.

“Emma! Come in, Christ, are you OK? Um..I mean it’s obvious you’re not. Come in, we’re glad you’re here” Phil said gently, wondering which way this was going to go. Had she come to scream at them or cry at them?

She replied “Thanks” before going up the stairs, followed by the boys, who exchanged uncertain glances.

When they all arrived in the lounge, Dan asked her to sit down – he would make them a drink. He was going to offer her a glass of wine, but didn’t want to remind her of the last time she’d had a drink in his company.

“No thanks Dan” she replied shakily, remaining standing. “Actually, I really need to see Phil, on our own, if you don’t mind.”

“Oh..um..OK. I’ll er..be in my room then…” he muttered, a bit surprised, not sure what to say. He got up and disappeared off with his wine, not before exchanging a glance with Phil, who looked pretty uncomfortable.

Dan shut the door behind him, his mind whirling. He had been a little hurt that Phil hadn’t asked him stay. After all, there were no secrets between them. He felt restless…what did Emma want? Had she come to sound off at Phil? Perhaps she still loved him and was going to ask for him back?

No, that was ridiculous – he was pretty certain that she’d seen him touching Phil’s leg and they’d been pretty obviously loved up that afternoon, after their earlier desperate sex.

He tried to distract himself, turning the laptop on and searching for random stupid stuff. Tumblr was certainly obliging, but somehow he was finding it hard to concentrate. They’d been in there together now for nearly an hour. What was going on?

Dan’s mind started to play tricks on him. _Perhaps Phil wasn’t really over Emma at all. Perhaps he still really did find her attractive._ He pushed the jealousy to the back of his mind. _No, he was being silly-Phil loved him – he knew he did_.

He decided to go and lie on the bed; perhaps he would doze off and wake up when Emma had gone and Phil came to bed. Phil wouldn’t go to bed without him, he was sure of that. He didn’t seem to be able to get to sleep for ages, just aware of low voices in the lounge, but unable to make out any of the conversation.

He must have drifted off because when he woke and looked at the clock, another hour had gone by. All seemed quiet, so he assumed that Phil had been in, but seen him asleep and decided not to disturb him. He crept out and went to Phil’s room, craving some cuddles and reassurance, but his heart sank when he found the bed empty. _Was Emma still here then?_ Jealousy and uncertainty started to bubble up inside him and his throat felt constricted with a mixture of fear and anger. He opened the door of the lounge.

Phil had his back to the door but Dan saw quite clearly that his arms were wrapped tightly around Emma and he was stroking her hair. Choking back the tears, he backed away. _He’d been so foolish. Why would Phil have ever loved him? It had all been some humiliating game that he’d been playing with him._ He stifled a sob and turned away- he wanted to be as far as possible from Phil right now, but Phil had heard him.

“Just…wait here Em…OK? I’ll be back in a bit. I thought I heard something” he whispered to her, before following Dan, only to be met by a bedroom door slammed in his face.

“Dan…you OK?” Phil enquired, knocking on the door.

“Leave me alone Phil. I get the message, OK? I _saw_ you…I saw you and Emma just then. Like old times, was it?” he ranted, bitterly.

Phil didn’t reply, just gently opened the door, to be met with the sight of Dan in bed, tears pouring down his face, the covers pulled protectively round him, like some sort of barrier against the world.

He felt utterly shattered to see his beautiful boy like this and he welled up with tears himself, for the second time this evening.

“No…no Dan. It’ll never be like old times with Emma. I’m in love with _you_ , baby. Emma and I are friends and friends alone – we both acknowledge that we should never have been anything more. You must believe me Dan. I was holding Emma because we had a lot to talk about tonight…and there’ll be a lot more talking to do in the future too. Right now though Dan, I need you to believe me, because I really need your trust and support. _Please_ don’t cry baby. I don’t think I can take any more tears tonight” he pleaded, kissing Dan’s tears away and wiping his own face. Somethingin his words made Dan realise he was acting foolishly.

“I saw you…and I just thought…I thought you two were back together…I’m stupid aren’t I?” Dan managed to say, between gulps. “Oh Phil, I’m so sorry I doubted you.” He looked up apologetically at his boyfriend, who was looking weary and shaken. “How’s Emma? Is she OK?”

Phil sighed and took a large gulp of Dan’s wine, which was still standing on the bedside table.

“That’s why she came here tonight, Dan. She needed to see me to tell me something.”

“What’s wrong? Oh god, is she ill or something?” Dan felt suddenly concerned.

Phil took hold of Dan’s hands and stared at him with huge blue eyes, like a frightened rabbit caught in the headlights. He knew this moment would change everything, for better or worse. He took a deep breath.

“No Dan, she’s pregnant, with my baby.”


	14. Uncertainty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil is there for Emma, but unsure where this will leave him and Dan

**CHAPTER 14 - UNCERTAINTY**

Phil felt his world turn on its head when Emma sat in front of him and whispered those words which would change the course of all their lives, for the second time in as many months.

“I didn’t know until this morning, Phil. I’ve been feeling grotty, run down and I just put it down to everything, you know, with what happened between us? I’ve been working too many hours at work and I just thought I’d overdone it, got some virus or something…”

“So…” Phil gulped, “how did you find out?” He was sure he could hear his own heart pounding in his chest.

“I went to the doctor last week and she ran some tests…I just thought maybe I was anaemic or something. Then she asked me whether there was any possibility that I could be pregnant. At first I just laughed…but then, when I thought about it…well, I’ve always been pretty irregular, you know…”

“But you’re on the pill” Phil pointed out.

“I know. She said that it’s 99% effective, but I guess that I’m just the unlucky 1%.” Emma looked shakily down at her hands before meeting Phil’s uncomprehending eyes. “Phil…I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared. I’m too busy to have a baby…and I’m on my own” she added bitterly.

“But you’re not on your own Em..I know we’re not together in the romantic sense of the word, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not here for you. We can do this together love” Phil reassured her and then put his arms round her and pulled her close, noticing the tears filling her eyes.

“How the hell can I have a baby Phi? I’m always so busy at work and I’ll never afford the childcare – besides which, my hours can be so erratic and I’ll be too tired to cope. It’ll never work” she cried, angrily.

“What are you saying, Emma? That you want an abortion?! Please Em, don’t do anything silly – we can talk about this…” Phil’s eyes had filled with tears too now, tears of panic and grief. He was desperately trying to process this bombshell that Emma had dropped, trying to find a way. He squeezed her into his chest, feeling conscious that he wasn’t just holding Emma, but his baby too, still small yet, but there all the same, his or her tiny heart already beating. He felt just this overwhelming love for both of them. He had made a life and wanted to do everything he could to protect that tiny human until the day he died.

“No….well, I just don’t know Phil..what the hell am I going to do? I’m so scared” she was sobbing now and Phil thought his heart ached so much he was going to have some kind of attack. His head was all over the place, but he tried unsuccessfully to be strong for Emma, despite the fact that tears were pouring down his own cheeks.

“Shhhh, shhh…” he soothed and was glad that she wasn’t able to see his face, as he stroked her hair gently away from her eyes.” We’ll work it out Em, you’ll see. It’ll be OK, shhh now sweetheart, please don’t upset yourself, take it easy now, I’m here now” he whispered, into her hair.

In truth, he didn’t know what was going to happen. There was only one thing which was clear in his mind and that was the fact that he wanted this baby so very much. At what cost though?

His mind drifted for a moment to Dan, oblivious to everything, in the other room. How the hell would Dan react? He couldn’t bear to lose him, but he realised that this was a very distinct possibility. He would have to tell him and then give him the opportunity to leave. Phil would promise not to judge him, let him go, let him live his life without any responsibility of family life. He couldn’t bear it and it would probably break him, but he would let Dan go if he wanted to, even if he never loved anyone else again.

_And he knew he probably never would, because right now, faced with losing him, he knew that Dan was the love of his life._

Emma seemed to read his mind. “I…I’m so fucking sorry Phil…I never meant for this to happen. I…shouldn’t have ever pushed you into our relationship – we were friends…we shouldn’t have ever been more than that. And now you and Dan….I don’t want to spoil things for you. I’m happy for you…I really am. It’s weird for me to see you together…but I can see how happy you are and you deserve it Phil. So does Dan. I think…I think he’s always loved you, you know?”

“I know Em. I didn’t know it before and I’m truly sorry about what happened. I tried to tell you that day, but then you thought it was another woman and it was just so difficult…and time just went by and it got really hard to tell you and…” Phil tried to fit all the pain and regret into a few words before Emma cut him off.

“It’s OK Phil, it really is. When I saw you in the coffee shop…it was a shock, but not a dreadful one. You look adorable together. Two men who I love so very much.” She reached up to stroke her hand against his cheek, wiping away his tears now. “I’ve missed you both terribly.”

“And we’ve missed you too, Em. There’s certainly a big reason to have you back in my life now” he smiled weakly. She noted the turn of phrase ‘ _my life’_ , rather than ‘ _our life’_ and asked Phil what he thought Dan would say.

It was too soon to start making plans and quite obviously Emma wasn’t really ready for practicalities. What Phil needed to do was to let her know that he loved her and would support her. It hadn’t escaped him that this would highly likely be the last opportunity to father a child of his own, but he tried to push the thought to the back of his mind. _No Phil, don’t be so selfish – it’s Emma’s baby too and she’ll probably move on and find someone else one day. She bloody deserves to. She’s perfect and lovely and if I wanted anyone to have my baby, it would be her._

“I really don’t know what Dan will say to all this” he replied, his stomach in knots “I just don’t know…”


	15. A Question of Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan is the man. How will he react to the news though?

**CHAPTER 15 – A QUESTION OF TRUST**

Dan just stared for a minute into Phil’s tired face, filled with concern and anxiety and a whole range of emotions flooded over him. He didn’t say anything and Phil tried to read his face, desperate for a response, one way or the other.

“Please Dan…please say something…”Phil pleaded, his blue eyes piercing into Dan’s brown ones. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to stick around…this is my baby, my responsibility. I’d never hold you back, baby. You should go and live your life without all this.” He said the words, meaning every word, but inwardly praying that Dan wouldn’t take him up on the offer. His soft brown eyes were hurt and starting to fill up. He finally sighed and looked down. Phil felt his heart nearly stop. Was this it? Was he going to lose his best friend, his lover, his soulmate?

“Dan..?” he repeated again, his voice catching.

Dan looked back up, right into his eyes. He was frowning.

“Phil…how could you? How could you suggest that I leave you? I’ve spent years wanting you, loving you. Even when I watched you spend your nights with someone else, I still loved you. When I just wanted to scream and run away because I couldn’t have you, _I stayed_ , because I couldn’t bear to live my life without you. And tonight… tonight I’ve spent my evening shut in this room, just praying I wasn’t going to lose you all over again. Then seeing you with Emma…and thinking..well I know now I was stupid. Then you fucking stand there and think I’m going to run out on you, because you’re having a baby?! When will you get it Phil? I love you…I fucking love you. Your baby will be my baby too, because it’ll be half you. So I’ll love him or her, because how could they not be the most perfect little person in the whole world? You’re the dad, Emma’s the mum – absolutely my favourite people in the world. So yeah, how dare you suggest I go now? I’m here, Phil and I’m afraid I’m sticking around forever.” His face was full of hurt and yet deep love at the same time.

Phil shook his head, thanking his lucky stars he had Dan. Without another word, he swept him into his arms and held him so tight he nearly crushed him. They both cried into each other’s hair, Dan’s starting to curl a little with the moisture.

“I love you too Dan. I was so afraid. It won’t be easy…Emma doesn’t know what to do. I’m scared she’ll do something stupid, but I want her to have the baby really badly. We could help, couldn’t we? I mean, if she wants to work, we could have the baby here couldn’t we? You’re so good with babies – they love you. We can make it work, can’t we?” Phil asked, a little unsure.

“Of course we can. You’ll be a wonderful Dad, Phil.”

“We’ll both be wonderful dads” Phil smiled “and Emma will be a wonderful mum if she’ll just let us help.”

“Where is she now? Come on Phil, we have to make sure she’s OK” Dan exclaimed, jumping up.

They both went back into the lounge, where Emma was standing, arms folded round her stomach, staring out of the window.

“Em, I’ve told Dan everything” Phil told her gently.

She turned to face them and started crying afresh when she saw their worried faces. Dan strode over to her and hugged her close to him.

“Please don’t cry Em. It’ll be OK. We’ll all be OK. We’re here for you. I know it’s a little..um…unusual, sure, but if you’ll let us, we want to help you. We really missed you Emma.” he said.

“Yeah, here I am – pregnant and with the weird prospect of bringing up a baby wth my ex-boyfriend and his new boyfriend. Unusual is definitely the word for it…”she giggled and sniffled through the tears, but felt relieved at Dan’s response. The reassuring and familiar smell of his skin and whatever gorgeous smelling products he used on his hair and face made her feel like she’d come home. Perhaps they could make this work. She almost didn’t dare to believe it. Sharing the news had certainly made it feel like less of a mountain to climb.

“I’ll tell you what I think” Phil said. “I think that you should stay here tonight. We can’t let you go back to your flat alone. I’ll make up the sofa bed in the study for you and you can start to get used to taking things a bit more easy and being spoilt rotten. You can start with calling into work tomorrow and telling them that you’re taking the day off sick. “

“I can’t do that!” she started to protest, but Dan interrupted.

“Yes you can. Watch us make you” he gave his best stern face. She sighed and he added “You get Emma’s bed sorted out Phil. I’ll leave you to talk some more. I’m going to bed.” He threw a smile at Phil and Phil knew this was his way of saying sorry for being such a drama llama, his way of confirming that he absolutely trusted them alone together.

“Night” he said kissing Emma, then went off to Phil’s room to sleep.

Phil set up the sofa bed for Emma, fussing that she would be comfortable enough. He lent her one of his T shirts and she got into bed, looking a little better after washing her face.

“Phil…I didn’t mean what I said earlier you know…about getting rid of our baby…” she muttered, looking down, embarrassed. “I know we’re not together any more, but I do love you. It’s strange, being pregnant with your friend’s baby. But single parent families manage don’t they?”

“This baby won’t have be in a single parent family though In fact, he or she will have three adults fussing over them. You won’t be alone Em. Dan and I will have the baby as much as you need, you know, when you need to work and stuff. We don’t go out that much anyway. Dan will love the excuse not to have to socialise” he joked, feeling relieved.

“It means a lot to me, but it’s all a bit much to think about right now Phil. It’s still all a bit of a shock.”

“Sure, we’ll talk about it some more tomorrow, if you feel up to it?” he replied “But just one other thing before I leave you to sleep…?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I…um…Can I please put my hand on your tummy? If it’s not too creepy? I know the baby’s far too tiny to feel any movements yet, but I just want to feel close. Are you freaked out by that? I won’t if you don’t want me to…”

“Stop fussing Phil. Yeah, go ahead. That’s actually quite sweet.” She smiled as Phil slipped his cold hand under her T-shirt and rubbed her tummy gently.

“Night night little one, I love you already. Daddy can’t wait to meet you.” He kissed her lightly on the tummy, then the cheek. “Night Em, hope you sleep OK, see you in the morning.”

Emma watched Phil pad quietly out of the room and felt blessed. She settled down and fell asleep surprisingly easily.

Phil was soon back in his own bed, in sleepy Dan’s warm arms.

“Dan….?”

“Mmmmm?”

“Thanks for being there tonight.”

“I told you…I’ll always be there…. _Daddy_ ”

They both chuckled at the double meaning, then cuddled up, too sleepy to talk any more tonight.


	16. Music of The Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan's got more than music on his mind this evening...

**CHAPTER 16 – MUSIC OF THE NIGHT**

Phil could see himself already – he was going to be one of those helicopter dads, always hovering around. He was a bit obsessed with Emma’s pregnancy and although she pretended to be exasperated, she was secretly loving his care and attention. He bought a small stack of books on pregnancy and birth and drove Dan and Emma mad by reading out endless facts about gynaecological issues, something Dan was less than enthusiastic about.

Emma spent quite a bit of time at their apartment – both Dan and Phil often texted her, independently of each other, to tell her to come over after work for tea. Both of them were enjoying cooking her nutritious meals to make sure that she was eating properly. She didn’t stay the night again though – Emma was acutely aware that they needed their privacy and she would have been super embarrassed to encounter any noises in the night from their bedroom, no matter how much she had accepted their new relationship.

Each evening, when it was time to go back to her flat, they insisted on walking her home together. It made her smile how they walked, one each side of her. It was like her having her very own bodyguards and she felt very protected with these two, cute, tall men escorting her. It was early Spring now and the nights were starting to get lighter. She opened the door of her flat and as usual, Dan and Phil stepped inside with her for a moment, making sure her lights were on and her curtains closed.

“See you both soon then, thanks for walking me back” she smiled, reaching up to kiss them both goodnight.

“Night Em” they both replied and were just heading out the door when Emma called after them

“Oh! I nearly forgot to ask you. It’s my 12 week scan next week at the hospital. Will you come along?”

“Yeah, absolutely, I’d love to” Phil replied.

“Actually, I want you both to come, if that’s OK with you too, Dan? You’re going to be a big part in this baby’s life too” she said hopefully.

Dan looked thrilled – his whole face lit up and Phil’s knees turned to jelly as he saw those cute dimples.

“Wow…I’d love to come Emma. That means so much to me. Wow, I can’t wait..thanks for asking me” he gushed, a bit overwhelmed.

“Well, I know Phil’s the biological dad, but you’ll be like a second dad, won’t you?” she giggled.

Phil laughed too “It’s going to be kind of confusing for the little one isn’t it? Could be a bit hard to explain one day.”

“It doesn’t matter what we say, this baby will love him whatever” Emma said and gave Dan a big squeeze.

When they got back to the flat, Dan was still elated.

“Emma’s really special you know Phil” he said as they sat together on the sofa. “There’s not many women who would forgive their boyfriend for getting them pregnant, going off with another guy and agree to let them _both_ help her bring up the baby. Then actually inviting the other guy to come along to the scan!”

“I know. It’s a bizarre state of affairs, but she seems cool with it. She knows you’ll be brilliant with the baby though. So do I. Hey, do you remember that baby on the train? _She_ loved you.”

“Arhh, yeah, she was gorgeous. Our baby will be even more cute though. He or she’ll probably look a bit like you and a bit like Emma, so it’ll be a killer combination. If it’s a girl, we’ll be fighting them off with a sharp stick when she’s older.”

Phil pulled Dan close. He loved that Dan had just referred to the baby as ‘our baby.’ He’d really accepted the whole situation and the changes it would bring and that meant the world to him. If it was possible, they were closer than ever.

“It’s funny”, Phil commented “Emma’s complexion and colouring is pretty similar to your’s – dark hair and eyes. The baby might look a bit like you too. “

“Perhaps that’s why you were sub-conciously attracted to Emma in the first place – you were just burying your real feelings for me.” Phil blushed…Dan was closer to the truth than he cared to admit. “You know, it’s still quite early, Phil, and I’m not tired yet. Shall I put some music on?” Dan suggested, a wicked glint suddenly appearing in his dark eyes.

“Yeah, OK” Phil replied, oblivious to Dan’s subtle change of mood.

Dan chose Muse, ‘Time is Running Out’ then padded back to the sofa, cuddling back up to his boyfriend. He started to quietly sing along with the music

_I think I'm drowning_   
_Asphyxiated_   
_I wanna break this spell_   
_That you've created_

Phil pretended he still hadn’t noticed Dan’s little flirty touches on his leg – he loved to play hard to get, forcing to Dan to make it really clear of his intentions. He forced himself to control the corners of his mouth from turning up into a small smirk.

_You're something beautiful_   
_A contradiction_   
_I wanna play the game_   
_I want the friction_

As Dan sang the last line, he allowed his hand to stroke lightly over Phil’s cock, which had started to harden already, emphasising the final word and looking up hopefully to his blue eyes, willing him to respond.

_You will be the death of me_

“What shall we do with the rest of the evening then?” Dan asked, innocently.

“Hmmm, not sure. How about Crash Bandicoot?” Phil suggested, teasing Dan a while longer.

Dan pouted. He ran one hand round Phil’s back and up the inside of his T-shirt.

“Do you know, Phil…?” he stated, ignoring his boyfriend’s gaming suggestion “all of this has made me realise just how fucking _virile_ you are, how much of a _man_ you are. It’s a real turn on…”

“Yeah? …”Phil couldn’t help smiling a bit now. Dan had pressed himself right up close now and had started to nuzzle his neck, giving little kisses and nips along his skin. Phil’s erection was now very apparent in his tight pants. Dan smiled smugly to himself and licked his lips in anticipation – Phil was so huge, it wasn’t the sort of thing that he could hide very easily and the sight of what he was going to get was having the same effect on Dan too. He started to grind up against Phil in a dangerously slutty way, but he didn’t really care…he wanted him…and pretty soon.

_Our time is running out_   
_Our time is running out_   
_You can't push it underground_   
_You can't stop it screaming out_

“It’s a good job _you_ can’t get pregnant baby, because I’m so ready to fill you up” Phil murmured, his voice deepening.

“Mmmm, good, I’m ready to take you” Dan purred back, unfastening Phil’s zip and releasing his enormous cock. He viewed it greedily and cupped his balls in his palms before kneeling down.

_You will squeeze the life out of me_

Phil closed his eyes as Dan expertly started to pleasure him with his mouth, his tongue running round the tip, along the length, making him almost unbearably sensitive.

_I wanted freedom_   
_Bound and restricted_   
_I tried to give you up_   
_But I'm addicted_

“Oh God, Dan” he mumbled, in seventh heaven. He glanced down to see that beautiful, dirty mouth sliding up and down his cock and blue eyes locked with brown ones. Dan loved to do this for Phil – even though he couldn’t fit it all in his mouth at once, he trusted Phil not to thrust into him too much, even though he knew it took a lot of will power for him not to.

Dan needed Phil so much now. He was rubbing himself up against the edge of the chair in frustration.

_You will suck the life out of me_

“Christ Dan,these lyrics are so relevant…you dirty little slut…you planned this” he panted “I need to be inside you, right now “ he growled.

Dan obeyed, taking his mouth off Phil’s cock and licking his lips. He pushed Phil backwards on the sofa and straddled him.

“Let me ride you Daddy” he asked, leaning forwards to retrieve the emergency bottle of lube from under the sofa.

Phil coated his fingers with the lube and inserted one into Dan gently, then another. He started to scissor his fingers, while thrusting them in and out, picking up speed. Dan grunted, gasping as he resisted the urge to fuck himself on Phil’s fingers, concentrating instead on kissing and biting Phil’s neck, marking him.

“You ready baby?” Phil asked. Even though they’d done this so many times, Dan noticed how he looked out for him, always making sure he was happy with everything. God, he loved his older boyfriend.

“Ready, Daddy..” he panted, sitting back up and positioning himself above Phil’s cock. He gasped as Phil filled him right up. This position allowed him to go really deep and it always brought tears to Dan’s eyes as they started, but it also enabled him to control the intensity and speed. Phil loved it too because he got such a great view of his Dan, his perfect, gorgeous, dirty boyfriend, riding him like some stallion. He could watch his face as he fucked him and when he got close to orgasm, he loved how Dan’s face changed, his mouth dropping open, the sweet moans escaping from him. It also allowed him to pleasure Dan at the same time, holding his cock in his hand, pumping it until they were both panting and breathless.

He knew Dan was close now, but was holding on, waiting for Phil. Every thrust was driving him wild now, his sweet spot shuddering spasms throughout his body. Phil needed to feel him come, loved the tightening sensation around his cock and he was rewarded very soon. Dan slowed down, his head falling backwards, his back arching with pleasure. The feeling of Phil’s come filling him, warm and sticky, completed the heaven that was their climax together.

He let himself fall forward, Phil moaning, feeling sensitive and their sweat and semen mingling. Phil was absolutely spent, but still managed to kiss Dan’s neck and run his fingers through his hair.

“Hey Phil…” Dan murmured.

“Yeah?”

“I hope the baby’s a good sleeper” Dan grinned.

“Babies sleep quite a lot to begin with” Phil chuckled.

“What happens when they start to grow up…we’ll have to be careful”

“We’ll have to buy a lock for our bedroom door” Phil smiled

“We’ll have to buy locks for _all_ our rooms, with our track record.”

“Hmmm, you’re right….come on…shower time” Phil said, gently lifting his lover off and heading for the bathroom.

Dan lay there for a moment, watching his boyfriend’s naked bottom as he headed out of the door. He was a happy man.


	17. A Tiny Cub

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion run high, as a heartbeats race.

**CHAPTER 17 – A TINY CUB**

The following week came round quickly and before they knew it, they were at the hospital, ready for Emma’s scan.

“Good morning, Emma, would you and your partner like to come through please?” the midwife said, then looked a bit surprised when all three of them stood up. “Oh! Which one of you gentlemen is the baby’s father?” she added.

“Both of them” Emma replied, grinning at Dan. “Well actually, Phil here is the biological father, but he and Dan will both be bringing the baby up with me.”

The midwife blushed a little, before asking “Ah, so you’re acting as a surrogate mother?”

“Oh no” Emma replied “I’m really sorry…it’s a little complicated. But I would really like both of them to be with me, if that’s OK?”

“Well…OK, the midwife answered, not sure whether she wanted to know the full story anyway. Dan looked mortified and glanced at Phil, who was also a bit pink. They all knew that she was thinking they were having some kind of weird threesome. Emma giggled, a bit naughtily, kind of enjoying the assumption.

“ _Emma…!”_ Phil chided quietly, though he couldn’t help but smile a bit.

Emma lay down on the bed, the screen mounted on the wall where they could all see; she was asked to push her top up a bit, so that the midwife could apply some gel. She was asked the usual questions about her menstruation dates and general health questions before the midwife told them that she was going to start the scan.

Phil was seated at the top end of the bed, holding Emma’s hand on one side and Dan’s on the other. A strange fast pounding noise started up, like a little galloping pony.

“That’s baby’s heartbeat” the midwife said, smiling at the sight of the three of them. Whatever strange relationship they had, it was clear that they were very close and she loved to see that. So many couples came in here who were obviously not going to make it in the long run. So many women came for their scan unaccompanied and here was a woman who had not one, but _two_ men who cared about her. _Pretty gorgeous guys too – lucky girl_ …she smiled to herself and continued.

Phil swallowed loudly. His eyes were wide as he stared at the monitor. That sound….that fast drumming sound was _his baby_. His eyes grew wider still as the midwife pointed out the hazy form of their tiny child. The midwife said the baby was about 7cm long and that Emma was about 13 weeks pregnant, although Phil heard the information as though it was in a dream. The little image on the screen was _his baby_. His mouth fell slightly open and he just continued to stare. Emma was squeezing his hand and smiling at him and Dan rubbed his hand across his back, sensing his emotion.

“Phil…” Emma prompted him and to his surprise he realised that a tear was rolling down his cheek. The books and facts he had read so much over the last couple of weeks had not prepared him for this. He was seeing _his_ baby, the baby he had wanted so much, here for the first time. This was actually _real._

“Hey, Phil. You OK?” Dan whispered. Phil wiped his cheek clumsily with the back of his hand, feeling embarrassed.

“What?..yeah, I’m absolutely fine” he smiled, kissing first Dan, then Emma.

The midwife confirmed that everything was OK and gave Emma some information to take away. The rest of the afternoon was spent at the apartment. Dan had come over all paternal since the scan and insisted that they should start to make some plans. It was strange, all facts taken into account, Emma felt that she really ought to resent any involvement from Dan, considering her boyfriend had left her for him, but their relationship hadn’t altered at all.

She sat there with the two of them feeling oddly comfortable with the fact that she used to sleep with Phil and now Dan did instead. It only served to confirm in her heart that Phil and her were just never really meant to be. In fact she probably felt more happy with him than ever, which was even more bizarre considering she was having his baby. She knew that he wanted this baby more than anything -his reaction at the hospital today had shown her that. She also knew that he would never leave her unsupported. He would make a brilliant Dad.

And Dan…how she loved him too. He had always been a great friend and now he was going to help raise her child. She smiled to herself as he chatted on about the baby and everything he was going to buy for him or her. The midwife had confirmed that the baby was due in October. It seemed so far away, but she was a little afraid of how quickly it would come round. She knew she’d have to tell work soon and goodness knows what would happen with her job and childcare when she’d had the baby. She voiced this concern with the men.

Dan was quick with the reply.

“We’ll have the baby while you’re at work, won’t we Phil? And overnight, if you’re tired or need a break. We can work round it…I mean _I’m_ practically nocturnal anyway. We can take turns – there’s two of us. Anyway, I think it would best if you move in here for a little while around your due day, so we can keep an eye on you, then for a couple of months after too. That way we can all help out.”

Phil was surprised with Dan’s eagerness and completely bowled over. His boyfriend never ceased to amaze him. He and Emma felt completely blessed. She hugged him tightly.

“Thanks Dan. Actually that would be wonderful. I’ve been pretty terrified of being on my own when the baby’s born. It would mean a lot to have you both around. “

Dan and Phil’s eyes met across her, both filled with love for one another.

Phil didn’t say anything as he looked in wonder at his fabulous boyfriend – he didn’t need to.


	18. Secret Wishes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma's missing the touch of a good man and feeling a bit lonely...

**CHAPTER 18 – SECRET WISHES**

Summer followed and Emma was blooming. She was still living at her own place, but either Phil or Dan called round or phoned her every day. Phil worried that she was working too hard, but she was determined to work as close as she could to her due date in case she got bored.

Every weekend was spent buying things for the baby. Phil had insisted on getting two cots –one for Emma’s flat and one for their’s and there was already a massive stock of nappies, wipes and cute outfits. Dan had become a serial clothes shopper for baby outfits. Not a week went by when he didn’t come home with a new purchase. Of course, they still didn’t know whether Emma was going to have a boy or a girl, so they were mainly cute little sleepsuits in white.

Emma’s favourite though, was a purchase that Phil had made. He called round one afternoon after she’d finished work. She giggled when she saw his enthusiastic face at the door, baby boutique bag in hand.

“What have you been buying now, Phil?” she sighed, smiling. _Who was she kidding? She loved this._

“I couldn’t resist it Em” he gushed, pulling something wrapped in tissue paper out of the bag. “It’s for our little lion cub.” He unwrapped the most gorgeous little lion sleepsuit, in a beige colour, complete with hood, which had lion’s ears and a furry mane.

“Ooooh, it’s SO cute…and you've always loved lions, Phil” she smiled, kissing him.

“Well, this baby’ll be the cutest lion cub ever” he replied. They exchanged a nostalgic look. Phil could never say that he regretted what had happened, but he sometimes felt terrible about the timing. It could have been so different though. If Emma had got pregnant earlier, he probably wouldn’t have been with Dan now…or perhaps it would have happened anyway and then things would be _really_ messy. In the end, things had worked out. They’d stayed together, in the most surprising of circumstances and this baby…well it was like a gift from above…..a golden chance that he would never have again. Phil wasn’t a religious man, but he thanked the fates for giving him this.

Emma had mixed feelings about the baby. In her dreams, she would have waited to have a family until she was into her thirties. She would have been further on with her career, probably married and living with her husband. Things had turned out a lot different. If anyone had told her that this was how her life would pan out, she’d probably have laughed – you just couldn’t have made it up. Yet, even though it was less than ideal – her boyfriend and the father of her unborn child had turned out to be gay and had left her for his best friend. She knew in her heart of hearts though, that she and Phil had never been quite right as lovers. She was overjoyed that he was still going to be a brilliant dad to their child.

In a strange sort of way, she was glad things had turned out this way. Two wonderful men looking after her and her baby, her career and independence not compromised and two great best friends.

Phil had been so sweet, right from the start of her pregnancy. He was so strong for her, but yet so utterly daft and proud at the same time. As usual, before he left, he kissed her bump and said the same words as always:

“See you later, little lion. Daddy loves you.” Then he would kiss her head and disappear out of the door.

It was at these moments though, that she felt a rush of loneliness – when she was left alone. That honey-sweet fleeting contact from Phil – that’s what was missing from her life. The love of a man; and not just the platonic kind. She tutted at herself- a woman in her state shouldn’t be thinking those sort of thoughts, but she didn’t really mean just the sex. It was that empty space in her bed at night, the quietness in the mornings, the hug and kiss when she arrived home. The recognition of her as a woman – those little compliments that only a lover can give. She sighed and decided to make a cup of tea – _perhaps one day someone will love me again- if anyone will have me when I’ve got a baby._

A week or so later, Emma was at the boy’s apartment, being pampered as usual. She had developed a real ice-cream craving recently – a craving which Dan was only too happy to help her indulge in. They were both sitting cross legged on the sofa, digging into a large tub of pralines and cream Haagen-Dazs – their current favourite flavour, when there was a knock on the door.

“That’s probably Pete, from the studio. I asked him to drop some stuff off that we left there last week” Phil said “Hey, it’s OK Dan, don’t jump up” he added sarcastically.

“It’s OK babe, I’m not. Besides, I’m helping this heavily pregnant women with her ice cream. Can’t you see I’m holding the tub for her?” Dan grinned.

A couple of minutes later, Phil and Pete came back into the room. Pete had worked with the guys for a long time and knew all about their new relationship. They knew he could be trusted not to spread details of their private life everywhere and he was a good friend, as well as a workmate. He knew about Emma and the fact that Phil used to be her boyfriend; that she was expecting Phil’s baby. Pete and Emma had never met before though; Emma worked in a completely different part of the building.

“Hi Dan” he smiled “I brought your stuff. I’ll just put it over here.” He put a load of files over on the side of the sofa before turning to Emma. “You must be Emma. How are you doing? Not too long to go then?” he signalled to her baby bump.

Emma smiled back, feeling relaxed. She knew Dan and Phil trusted Pete and they’d often talked about him – he seemed like a nice guy. “Yeah, hi Pete. Only nine weeks to go now. Sorry, I look like a right pig here, stuffing my face with ice cream!” she laughed, wiping some stray ice cream from her mouth.

“Yeah, but the baby’s craving it. What’s your excuse Dan?” Pete teased.

“I can’t let Emma eat alone, it’d be rude” he laughed.

“So, Phil says you’re moving in for a little while. Have you got everything planned then?” Pete asked.

“Sort of – still a few things to get. I haven’t packed my hospital bag or anything yet. And we need to check out really decent, reliable taxi companies, ready for the emergency dash” she replied.

“Well, I drive and I don’t live too far away. I could be ready and on standby if you want…I mean, I’d be happy to do that” Pete offered.

“Wow, are you sure?” Phil interrupted, “it’s a big responsibility and it could get messy..” he laughed.

“Phil!...” Emma rolled her eyes, embarrassed. Pete chuckled and grinned at her.

“No problem – you’ve got my mobile number. I don’t get out too often, so I probably won’t be far away. You can pay my valet costs for the car, if your waters break” he teased and Emma just laughed. She knew he was only joking and she trusted this guy if Dan and Phil did. “Anyway” he added, “I must head off – I need to get some food shopping in on the way home and you’ve just given me a taste for some ice cream. Really good to meet you, Emma. You look great, by the way. You’ve really kept your figure. See you again.”

Phil saw him out and Emma felt herself blush a little. Dan eyed her suspiciously.

“You OK Em? You look a little warm. Pete’s a nice guy isn’t he? I don’t think you two have met before today have you?” he asked, innocently.

“What? Oh yeah…he seems very nice. Let me have some more ice cream…it’s a bit stuffy in here isn’t it? Perhaps I’ll open a window…” she fussed.

Dan smiled to himself and kept his thoughts to himself.


	19. Senses Working Overtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil has planned a sensory treat for his Dan.

**CHAPTER 19 – SENSES WORKING OVERTIME**

A couple of weeks passed and Phil went into full mother-hen mode. He’d insisted that Emma pack her things up and move in with them, so they could keep an eye on her and generally spoil her. They arranged that they would go round to Emma’s in a taxi at four o’clock, to help her with all her stuff.

At 11am, Dan woke up, muzzy and still sleepy, to find Phil lying on his side next to him, just staring at him.

“Are you stalking me Phil?” he smiled, dopily.

“Yup. I’m your confirmed stalker…I watch you while you sleep, then when you wake up, I abuse your body for my own satisfaction” Phil murmured, stroking Dan’s hair out of his eyes. Dan just looked and smelt so irresistibly warm and inviting when he’d just woken up. These mornings generally started with cozy cuddles and ended with hot sex. Dan chuckled with anticipation. Today looked like no exception.

“Emma’s coming to stay today, so we’ll have to grab our last opportunity for wild, unfettered, noisy sex” Phil purred into Dan’s cheek, leaning his body against him. Dan could already feel his large, warm cock pressing against him and shivered a little as his own erection grew, almost painfully too fast.

“Sounds like the perfect start to the day.” He turned over in bed, so that his back was facing Phil. He knew that his boyfriend would touch all the right places to get him suitably aroused, starting with his neck. Phil drew his body close up behind him, his hardness pressing on Dan’s ass and began to nuzzle his neck sensuously, whilst tangling his slender fingers through his already mussed up bed hair.

“Actually baby, I thought we’d try something a bit different this morning.” Phil said softly “You’ve been so supportive about everything that I think you deserve a little treat. I want to show you just how much you mean to me. Things are going to get a bit hectic round here over the next few weeks and months. I don’t want you to ever, ever think that I don’t love you, just because we’re busy. I might get stressed out or tired, but I’ll still want you and appreciate all that you are to me…”

Dan rolled back over and faced Phil. “Hey,Phil, I know that…and I might get just as busy and stressed out – we’re in this together…remember?” he whispered, cupping Phil’s face in his hand and gently kissing him. “Don’t worry, I understand. Even when you’re grumpy, you’re still my Phil and I’ll always love you.” Dan gave Phil a flirty look “Anyway, what was that you said about trying something different?...”

Phil kissed him lightly, before reaching down to something under the bed. “Lie back gorgeous” he whispered. Dan frowned a little, puzzled, then lay down on his back, as Phil had asked him. “Shut your eyes” he added. When he had closed them, Dan felt Phil putting something round his eyes, something soft and cool, then tying it behind his head. “Trust me…” he cooed.

“What? What are you doing Phil?” Dan asked, but only felt his boyfriend reach up and tie his wrists together above his head, then attach them to the headboard.

“You comfortable, Dan?” Phil asked gently “I want you relaxed, I’m not going to hurt you.”

Dan did trust Phil, but still felt very exposed as he was aware of the covers being removed from his body, leaving him completely naked. He tested his arms by pulling against his restraints, but he was definitely unable to move. Everything went quiet and he could hear Phil leaving the room. He lay there for a few minutes, feeling unnerved and a bit helpless, but also pretty aroused too. What the hell was Phil going to _do?_

He was aware then that Phil had returned, because he could hear him breathing.

“Phil…what are you doing?” he smiled nervously.

“Just getting ready…” Phil replied. In reality he hoped Dan hadn’t heard him come back in. He was just enjoying the opportunity to drink in the image of his beautiful boyfriend, in all his glory, without Dan being able to see where his eyes were going. He didn’t often get the chance to simply stare, uninhibited and quite honestly he couldn’t believe that this man was actually _his._ He took just another few seconds, his blue eyes wide, before he reached into his box of supplies for the first item he'd brought.

Dan felt the bed move, as Phil joined him, then felt something cold on his cheek, being stroked across his face. He knew it was something fairly small, and a little rough, but until it was brushed over his mouth, he had no idea what it was. He could smell strawberry and tried to catch it in his mouth as Phil moved it, but wasn’t quite quick enough. The sight of Dan opening his mouth and darting his tongue around was pretty erotic and Phil knew that Dan wasn’t the only one who was in for a treat. He teased him a little longer, enjoying the spectacle.

“Hmmmf, Phil, I know what it is…let me have it…!” Dan huffed, his body moving with him as he attempted to locate the juicy fruit. Phil let the strawberry hang just out of reach for a second or two longer, then savoured Dan’s expression as he took it into his mouthand licked his lips.

The game started again, but this time, the object was a little more moist. Dan gasped as Phil ran the mystery object up the inside of his thigh, then across his chest, coupling the sensation with his hot breath on Dan’s skin, sending shivers all over him. Once again, he felt it brush across his cheeks and lips and smelt the fruit, this time a banana. He knew he was being slutty but Dan couldn’t resist teasing Phil back a bit by performing a simulated blow job on it, licking the end and taking it into his mouth. Wow, _that_ was good to watch and Phil was starting to think about forgetting the whole game and just taking his boyfriend, there and then. He forced himself to remember that this was for Dan – _his_ pleasure would have to wait.

As Dan swallowed the last bit bit of the banana, he sensed that Phil had reached for something else. He jumped, as a feeling of freezing cold was applied to his nipples and stroked across them, then drawn across his lips. The coldness of the ice cube Phil was running over his body was sending shockwaves of pleasure over him. It was as though his sense of touch was intensified because he had been deprived of his sight and of course he was unable to see what Phil was going to do next. His cock was very engorged now and he was craving some serious touching, pushing his hips into the air, trying to find Phil. He wasn’t prepared for the next sensation. His cock felt a jolt of heat…or was it cold? Phil’s tongue was flicking over its end and he had been sucking the ice cube. His tongue was deliciously cool and he clearly still had the ice cube in his mouth… _shit…what was he doing?_ He didn’t care – it felt fucking great. Just as he was enjoying the friction, it was gone again. Dan pulled against his restraints again and groaned.

Phil took him by surprise next – he was suddenly there, kissing his lips and neck and running his tongue down his chest. Dan was in seventh heaven…never sure where he was going to be touched next, but loving every minute. He so wanted to be touched again though.

He could hear a lid being removed from something. God, was it lube? He shifted nervously – he wanted to be ready for Phil. Unexpectedly though, he smelt something else, something sweet, like almonds but with a hint of orange and spice. Phil’s hands glided over his shoulders and felt warm and smooth. He arched his back; the hands started to massage his chest gently but firmly, as Phil continued to plant sweet, unforeseen kisses over his body. Phil worked his way down to his stomach and Dan pulled at his restraints more wildly.

“Phil! You’re tickling me!” he laughed and bucked around. Phil patiently waited for him to stop moving around before adding some more warm massage oil to his hands and starting to apply it to Dan’s lower stomach, just above his pubic hair. He circled around his cock, without touching it, working on the inside of his thighs instead. He glanced up at Dan’s face, which was pouting now. He was pretty sure that there was a frown behind that blindfold and judging by the writhing and grinding movements he was making, Phil could see that he was getting frustrated.

“Sorry baby, let me massage the most important part” he soothed and Dan gasped as he finally took his penis into his hand and started to apply the friction that he had been dying for. He stroked Dan’s balls, pressing the sensitive part between them and Dan’s ass and indirectly stimulating his sweet spot. Then he worked around the base of the head of his cock, circling gently and applying a little pressure with his nails – just enough to make his breath catch and to make him whimper with pleasure. Whatever was in the oil was magical – it was just warming enough to make his skin tingle and heighten every single little touch. Dan’s back was arching and his tongue was licking his top lip. Phil once again stopped and took a moment to appreciate his boyfriend and how gorgeously slutty and uninhibited he looked when he couldn’t see him staring. His hand went down to his own hard cock and he couldn’t resist palming himself a little at the sight. He didn’t carry on too long though, otherwise he’d have just been all over Dan, and everything would have been over in seconds.

He reached down into his box one more time and brought out the special gift he’d bought for Dan. Again, he kissed and nibbled at him, working his way up between his thighs before gently pushing his knees upwards, so they were bent and then parting them, so that his legs fell open.

“Phil?...”Dan moaned, a little nervous. He was unsure what was happening next and felt a little vulnerable. Once again he felt warmth around his aroused cock and realised that this time, Phil was gently soaping him and sponging him clean. He panted again as Phil dried him off with a soft towel, and couldn’t help thrusting into his towelled hands.

Next moment, Phil’s long slim fingers were on him again, stroking his balls and around his ass before he realised that one was starting to push inside him, then another, and another, stretching him. The exquisite pleasure was removed and a warm wetness replaced it, as Dan realised he could feel Phil’s hair stroking around the top of his thighs as he ran his tongue around his cock, balls and finally his rim. Then Phil was kissing him again as something new was introduced against his ass, pushing into him…. _fuck, what was that?_ It wasn’t as big as Phil, but it was warm and hard and a bit bumpy. As it filled and stretched him, he pulled on his restraints again and started to writhe. Just as it started to get comfortable, something changed and it sent delicious vibrations through him, make him cry out with surprise and pleasure.

“ _Jesus…Philllll…Fuck_ ” he cursed, his head moving from one side to the other, hips bucking frantically. He so wanted Phil to touch him now…no..he _needed_ him to.

“Is that too strong for you, baby?” Phil’s voice came low and rough down his ear.

“I’m not going to…not going to last..much longer” Dan groaned.

“Then let me do this last thing for you” Phil whispered, before lowering himself down the bed again and taking all of Dan’s cock into his mouth, holding tightly and pressing his tongue all around it, moving, hot and wet and tight.

Dan couldn’t control himself any longer. His senses were completely overloaded now, his whole body craving his orgasm, the vibrator inside him making him shudder and the heat and expertly applied pressure of his boyfriend’s tongue turning him to jelly. Phil managed to look up at Dan’s face just in time to see Dan’s mouth fall open. He cried out Phil’s name loudly, mixed with various obscenities and his wrists turned white as he pulled, in one last spasm against the silk scarf which bound them. Phil swallowed, then moved back to have another last long look at the man he loved and admired so very much. Dan was dishevelled, sweaty and panting and looked exhausted. His arms were now limp and looked more relaxed, though Phil saw that they were a little red from all the pulling. He carefully removed the vibrator, then gently leaned up and untied him, kissing his wrists and rubbing them, before lifting his head and untying his blindfold.

Dan looked completely fucked out. His eyes were glazed, but happy.

“Hey you” Phil murmured, nuzzling his neck, ”You OK, baby?”

“Mmmmm. Phil….that was amazing..it all felt just amazing….and you’d planned that all just for me?”

“Sure…I wanted to do something really special for you.” He stroked Dan’s hair away from his face, where it was sticking to the sweat.

“I’ll never forget it…I’m so lucky….and exhausted” Dan smiled weakly. Phil looked at his beautiful eyes. He’d missed seeing them while he pleasured Dan. “Let’s just lie here for a bit and then we need to sort out your not-so-little problem” Dan smirked, glancing down at Phil’s erection.

“This morning was about _you_ ” Phil whispered. “You lay here for a bit. We can sort me out later. The sight of you with that blindfold on will keep me going for weeks.”

Dan sighed. He wanted to return the favour, but had to admit that right now, everything just ached too much and he craved some gentle Phil time. He knew there'd be more to come later anyway. As usual, for now, Phil was right there, hugging him back.


	20. All Too Soon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is happening too fast for Emma and she's feeling the pressure.

**CHAPTER 20 – ALL TOO SOON**

Emma’s move into the apartment had gone fine. She was sleeping in the spare room at the moment, but Phil had decided to move into Dan’s room once the baby was born, so Emma could have his room. There would be more space for the cot in there.

Phil had just gone out for an hour or so, to do a bit of shopping, leaving Dan and Emma in the apartment. Emma had told Dan that she was a bit tired and was going to have a quiet read in her room, so he assumed his usual position on the sofa with his laptop on his knee.

He was just engrossed on Tumblr when he became aware of a strange noise. At first, he thought it was next door’s TV. They often had it turned up too loud, but Dan and Phil would have felt hypocritical if they’d complained – the noises _they_ produced sometimes! He gradually realised that it was actually coming from Emma’s room and got up to have a listen and make sure she was OK.

He stood outside her door and realised, now that he was closer, that she was crying and obviously trying to hide the fact by stifling her sobs. He wasn’t sure what to do at first and hesitated to speak, before deciding to knock and see whether she was OK.

“Em…are you OK in there? Are you crying? Can I come in?”

“Oh…Dan…I..um…yeah, come in” she snivelled.

Dan opened the door to find Emma, sitting on the floor, clutching the little lion sleepsuit Phil had bought in her hand, tears streaming down her face.

“Hey…what’s the matter? Why are you so upset?” he soothed, sitting beside her on the floor and putting an arm round her.

“It’s silly…you’ll think I’m pathetic” she muttered.

“Come on. You’re anything but pathetic. What’s up? Don’t upset yourself like this” he prompted, wiping her tears away with his thumb.

“I’m really scared, Dan” she said suddenly, looking up at him with wide, frightened eyes. “I’m scared of giving birth, scared I’ll be a shit mum and most of all, I’m scared of what the rest of my life will be…” She put her head and in her hands and started to sob again.

“Hey…hey…shhhh, please don’t cry” Dan pulled her head into his chest and enveloped her in his arms. “You’ll be the best mum in the world and Phil will be the best Dad. The baby’ll be the most loved little person in the world. You’ll make mistakes… shit, I’ll make mistakes too, but it doesn’t matter ‘cos we’re all here for each other. And we love you Em…we’ll support you through all of this. You won’t be alone.”

“I will be, when I go back home eventually. No-one will ever find me attractive again. Look at me. I’m fat and horrible.”

“You are not. You’re seven and a half months pregnant and you’re absolutely gorgeous. I totally would, if liked girls” he joked. Emma half smiled.

“No you wouldn’t, you’d rather shag my ex boyfriend” she taunted, elbowing him the ribs.

“I can’t deny it…” Dan hung his head in mock shame.

“I’m scared of being alone, Dan” she muttered.

“You won’t be alone forever and as I said, you’ve got us, but I understand what you mean. You miss having a man to love you in a different way to us. Well, I meant it when I said that you’re gorgeous. I see men look at you all the time. You never know what’s round the corner.” He kissed her on the cheek and grinned. “Come on…let’s have some more ice cream” he stood up and put out an arm to haul her up – she was struggling a bit these days. He made his way to the door.

“Oh…oh fuck” she said breathlessly behind him and he turned to see her leaning against the wall, clutching her stomach, face contorted and eyes wide.

“Emma!?” he rushed back to her, supporting her weight.

“I think you’d better call Phil…and Pete" she gasped, "My water’s just broke.”

Half an hour later, they were all crammed into Pete’s Volkswagen Polo – Dan and Pete in the front, Phil in the back, holding tightly onto Emma’s hand. Her contractions were coming quickly now and she was obviously in some discomfort.

Dan watched them in the mirror –Phil’s worried face, Emma looking distressed and tearful, Pete trying to drive quickly but carefully. Not one of them saying what was on all of their minds. _It was too soon. Emma wasn’t due for several weeks yet._

Emma was just grimacing and leaning into Phil.

“I’m scared” she whispered, for the second time that day and Phil didn't reply - he just kissed her head and rubbed her back. He was scared too – scared to tell her it would all be OK, in case he was wrong. Scared of losing her and of losing their baby. He fixed his eyes on the road and prayed that they would get to the hospital soon and all get though this.

Phil had phoned ahead, so they were expecting her on the ward. Pete pulled up right outside and they helped her out of the car and headed straight for maternity, Emma struggling with the pain, the guys supporting her.

After that, everything seemed to happen so quickly. Emma had an examination and then she was whisked away. Dan and Phil were asked to wait in a bleak waiting room, filled with brochures and posters about complications and domestic abuse. They had told Pete to go home and he had been hesitant, making them promise to call with any news.

After the panic and madness of the past hour or so, the silence seemed immense. Phil looked haunted and tense. He sat on the edge of his seat, watching the door for someone to come in with some news. Dan saw that he was shaking.

“Come on, Phil, I’ll get you a coffee. Try not to worry” Dan reassured him “She’s in the best of hands now.” He stroked Phil’s hand gently.

“I can’t stop thinking about them, Dan” Phil said, his words sounding choked and hoarse. “It’s too soon. The baby’s coming _too soon_. What if it doesn’t survive? What if anything happens to Emma? It’ll be all my fault.”

“No, Phil, don’t say that. That’s not true.” Dan put an arm around him. Right now he didn’t care if anyone saw them. Phil was hurting and needed him. A door burst open and a nurse came in.

“Mr Lester? Emma’s been taken down to surgical. She’s gone into premature labour and the baby is having some problems. We’re giving her an emergency caesarean section. Come with me please.”

Phil stood shakily and followed her out of the waiting room, his heart pounding against his chest, adreneline pumping. Dan stood with him but had to let go of Phil’s hand and watch the man he loved disappear through the door. He stood and looked at it swing shut, then sat back down heavily and began to pray to a god he barely believed in, that Emma and Phil’s baby would be OK.


	21. Going Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Final Chapter....will it be happy ever after?

**CHAPTER 21 – GOING HOME**

It was a beautiful day, for early April. Daffodils lined the grass through the park and everywhere there were signs of warmer weather on it's way. Eight months had passed since that terrifying day when Emma had been rushed to hospital with Pete, Dan and Phil.

Dan and Phil’s work had suffered. But today seemed like a special day and there was a real sense of positivity for the future between them.

Two weeks after the operation, Emma had been allowed to come out of hospital and to the apartment, where she was waited on, hand and foot by the boys. The first few days were the worst and she was tearful, alternating between clingy and angry. She would say afterwards that she was so upset that she didn’t really know what she was doing. Phil and especially Dan were fantastic – Dan surprised himself – cooking meals, shopping and listening to them both. Phil was upset, but wasn’t helping himself much, because he was trying to shield Emma from his tears, instead of talking it through.

Today was better. They’d all come such a long way. The clear, fresh air of this wonderful Spring day was something that they’d all thought their beautiful baby daughter would never experience, but as Phil looked down into the pram where she lay, perfect and sleeping, he was again overwhelmed and proud. The months of hospital visits had taken their toll on them all. They had all watched that tiny, tiny baby, lying in an incubator, a little woollen hat keeping her warm. At times they had hardly dared to hope, but she had proved them wrong, so Emma and Phil had decided to name her Hope and they could say now that she’d certainly lived up to all their dreams.

Phil stopped the pram again and tucked her blanket round her for the umpteenth time. Emma and Hope had lived with them for a little while longer than they’d first planned, until Emma had built up the confidence to return to her flat. Hope wasn’t allowed home for a couple of months and would have some respiratory problems for some time, but she was gradually getting stronger. There had been night feeds and early mornings, but they were all so overjoyed at having her there that they embraced the challenges it brought.

Hope was a predictably pretty baby, despite her health problems. Her eyes, blue at first, had turned to a deep chocolate brown and she had a mop of dark hair. Phil often teased Emma and Dan that they’d been having a secret affair and the baby was really his – she looked like him but without the dimples.

Dan was fantastic with her – even dragging himself up in the mornings to change her if she was crying. Phil could see that he was besotted with her and that by the time she could walk, Hope would have her Uncle Dan very firmly wrapped around her little finger. One day, Emma and Phil had come back from the shops to find Dan and Hope fast asleep on the sofa, her snuggled into his chest. They had looked so contented that they didn’t disturb them, although Phil couldn’t resist taking a cute photo to bribe Dan with sometime in the future.

Emma and Phil turned out to be fabulous parents. Even though they weren’t together, they still helped and supported each other and despite the late nights and lack of sleep, everyone stayed patient. They were too grateful for Hope’s survival to be anything but happy.

On the day that Emma came out of hospital, she had a dedicated driver to collect her and take her back to the flat. Pete had been a regular visitor to the hospital and bought a large bunch of flowers for her, which he presented to her when he met her in the waiting room. She had felt so rough and emotional during those dark days, but he had managed to make her smile a little and feel special.

She had been back in her own flat for over a month now and it was working out really well. She generally had Hope there during the day and the guys took the night shift for now, at least until she went back to work. Today though, they were all here, in the local park. Phil, ever the proud father, pushed the pram and had Dan on one side and Emma on the other. It had been a freezing cold winter and today seemed like the first day the sun had cast any warmth over the earth. Hope was finally wearing the lion sleepsuit. She’d been far too small to fit it until now and it looked super cute on her. They found a bench and all sat down together, enjoying the sun.

“Hey, Uncle Dan” Emma said, glancing over at him to find him staring, soppily at Hope, as usual. “You know, I don’t know how I would have got through all this without you two. You’ve been brilliant.”

Phil smiled “We’ve all been brilliant…and I think she’s been well worth it, don’t you?”, he nodded at the pram.

“I wondered whether you might be able to bring Hope round a little earlier in the morning?” Emma asked, shyly.

“Yeah, why, are you doing something?” Dan replied.

“I um…well…actually, yeah. Pete asked whether Hope and I would like to drive out to the farm. I think she’d love that..” Emma avoided their grins and played with Hope’s blanket a little.

“Oh yeah, Pete _did_ , did he?” Dan smirked, exchanging amused, knowing looks with Phil. “Pete’s been visiting you quite a bit lately hasn’t he? And of course, he just coming to see Hope- nothing to do with the fact that he told me the other week that you were looking radiant and pretty and that you don’t even look as though you’ve had a baby? No? Of course not….”

“Hmmmm, and you’re going to the farm with Pete because _Hope_ would like it…nothing to do with Pete’s devilishly good looks, shiny dark hair, long legs and deep blue eyes? No? Of course not…” Phil teased, joining in.

“Oh stop it, you two. He’s brilliant with Hope…” she attempted, but was cut off with a fit of delighted childish giggles from them both.

They stood up, ready to go their separate ways until later, when Emma would bring Hope round for the night. Emma looked at the two gorgeous guys, clearly in love with one another and smiled. Although she’d never planned any of this, she wouldn’t have this any other way.

They were an unconventional family- her, Dan, Phil and Hope. It shouldn’t work, but it _did_ and she loved them all dearly. Perhaps there was room for one extra in their little family circle of love? Time would tell. She hoped so.

As Emma walked off, pushing the pram, Dan smiled as Phil watched them walk away, proudly. He squeezed his boyfriend’s thigh.

“I love you” he announced, looking directly into Phil’s eyes and really meaning it.

“And I love you, and I always will” replied Phil. “Let’s go home. The sun’s gone in and I need cuddling.”

Dan smirked and kissed Phil’s neck, that playful expression which Phil loved, appearing on his face. He knew that Dan wanted more than cuddles and he was always very happy to comply.

The past fifteen months had been like a roller coaster. Sometimes they were high in the air, and there had been some freefalls and terrible drops. Phil was sure of one thing though - he never, ever wanted this ride to stop, in fact he'd be happy to be stuck on it, with Dan, forever. He slipped his hand into Dan's back pocket.

“Come on then baby” he murmured “Daddy’s got a new jar of Nuttella, just for you…”

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you go..Thanks so much for reading. I hope that you enjoyed the story. And of course, if you did, please click on the heart to leave Kudos. Please leave a comment for me..  
> If you've enjoyed the story, I may write another one sometime, but until then, XXXXXX


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